Posted by max on 6/8/2009, 8:32 pm
64.12.117.15
Goodday Everyone,
My doctor’s appointment ended up being an immediate admit to the hospital. We ran out of pain pills and by the time I was in the office I was hurting very badly. The nurse would not give me anything for pain until I was checked in. It took two hours of excruciating sitting (which is the worst position for me) to finally be checked in. They immediately took me back and put me in a bed and ordered scans. The pain medicine did not work. It progressed on my nerves until I was screaming in a back room in the cancer center. It hurt so bad that at that moment I was starting to contemplate if I wanted to even live anymore.
After I went down and waited for these scans, they set another needle, gave me the stuff to drink and sent me back up. .5mg injections of a drug called dilaudid or something of the such (I can’t remember the name even though I am still on it) were able to get it to the point where I was able to get out of the fetal position and stop screaming for about thirty minutes per hour. Research will show one that dilaudin is about three times stronger that heroine, and about four to eight times stronger than morphine. I will tell you that it was not strong enough to remove all the pain
The results of the scan came back saying there were no new spots and not all spots grew; however the blood count doubled (which is slower especially for not being on chemo) and there is a spot between my liver, ribcage, and diaphram that is about the size of a baseball that pushes on everything for every breath I take. It is one of the most painful spots a tumor can sit, and although it can be surgically removed to remove my pain, the doctors advise against it because they say it will grow back. I could care less, lust keep taking it out. The pain is unfathomable.
They admitted me to the hospital for pain where I was until yesterday afternoon. They put me on a plan which was a full milligram, or the equivalent of three lines of herioine every four hours to be assisted with oxycontin and oxycodone…which are also opium drugs related more closely to crack cocaine. It did take the pain away. I did give me an appetite, and I did luckily pass my tests for chemo wheich I had today and will explain next time.
I know I will be on these long enough that I will have to battle withdrawel…heroine withdrawel. I will be, because of medical reasons, more or less a drug addict. I can’t blame myself and I do not care. To keep the pain at bay, I have to stay on a pain plan. My plan is a 2mg tablet of Dilaudid which is the same as the one miligram I was getting on IV, or three five milligram morphine pills. To assist that, I am on 20mg of Oxycodone every four hours as needed and 20mg of Oxycontin every 12 hours. I try to stay more away from those ones because they make me itch severly. I will become almost at need for these things and after beating the cancer, it will be a challenge to get back to being me.
Anyways, that is enough for tonight. I am going to take my little pill and go off into space and sleep painlessly for a little bit.
God Bless,
Adam Frey
“Even Jesus prayed that if there was any way not to go through it, to let that cup pass over him.”
241
Message Thread:
« Back to thread