Posted by Charles Joseph Clark All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. Jean-Paul was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and have hot, sweaty dirt sex with him for money." Jean-Paul quicky shared with the class. The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Jean-Paul aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said Jean-Paul, "He works for both the federal and provincial Liberal Party, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above sea level. You are 48 degrees 14.97 minutes North latitude and 100 degrees 49.09 minutes West longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Conservative." "I am," replied the man. "How did you guess?" Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Liberal." "I am," replied the balloonist. How did you know?" "Well" said the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault" I am a crack dealer in Ontario who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Windsor and one of my sisters, who lives in Hamilton, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Sault Ste. Marie. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Millhaven for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Don on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children in 1998. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Communist Chinese prostitute who was dropped of at Pearson and now lives in Sudbury and is still a part time "working girl" in an underground brothel there. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my three sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would morally prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, their heroin habits. All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant cousin from Ottawa who is a member of the federal and provincial Liberal Party?
on 3/28/2004, 8:28 pm, in reply to "Joke for Conservative 905 Types"
Little Jean-Paul was in his Essex County District School Board Elementary School's 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
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A woman in a hot air balloon directly over the breadth of Wentworth County realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me Sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am!"
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