McCarthy: “Ugh I’m getting a headache already.”
Just then Cassie Scerbo with a broad you can’t touch this smile on her face walks right by the announcing booth with Angie Everhart between her and Jen McCarthy. McCarthy gives the blonde flyweight one of her famous glares.
O’Dell: “Okay, let’s get going for round one!”
Candice Accola out in a bright blue bikini, ponytail and white boxing shoes. Rhona Mitra wearing Bazz signature black leather bikini and black knee high boots, hair hanging loose.
Rd 1 Accola moves out on her toes meeting Mitra at center ring. Blonde quickly gets things going throwing quick jabs at Mitra. Most punches fall harmlessly off of the brown haired girl’s arms and shoulders but the crowd recognizes the slighter girl’s aggressiveness. Mitra trying to cut off the ring and corner the blonde but to no avail. Accola legs away from Mitra throwing nonstop jabs at her. Blonde scores with a jab and jitterbugs away. Blonde scores points hitting and dancing while Mitra follows her around the ring stalking in a bent over homage to Joe Frazier. Brunette able to get close and unleash a few strong hooks that land on opposing arms with resounding thuds. Still Accola’s routine is impressive and she takes the first round.
McCarthy: “Like I said Nancy, Mitra is very deliberate out there. Still I’m very impressed with Accola’s agility. She’s handling herself very well.”
Tess: “ Well Nancy you have to know that Rhona Mitra specifically asked her manager from the BBU, Knowlesey to let her work with Bazz Fight Club not only for more exposure to FCBA fights but because Pointy Del Crunchy is known for getting every last bit of quickness out of his fighters. Still Jen is right. You have to be impressed with Candice Accola. She had a very effective first round.”
McCarthy: “Thanks for the 411 Walmart. We all know about Pointy and Rhona, if you know what I mean.”
Tess: “No problem Ms. Plastic Fantastic.
O’Dell: “Oh thank God! The second round is starting.”
Rd 2 Accola out quick and using her jab again. The lanky blonde taking care to stay out of reach of the fiery brunette who continues to walk through the punches in the hopes of cornering Accola. Blonde ambition looking all bendy as she sidesteps the BBU beauty. Accola pumping out jabs on her back foot, earning points and staying away. It’s all pop, pop, pop from Accola as the brown haired vixen throws few punches content to stalk. Mitra gets into a rhythm bobbing and weaving around most of Accola’s rapid fire punching and she is starting to find some range with some of her powerful punches. Accola is still the aggressor though and takes another round to keep her shutout intact.
O’Dell: “Well another round for Accola. Ladies this is quite a surprise so far just like our guest. Ladies and gentlemen say hello to Mickey Rourke. Mickey you’ve played roles as tough guys, wrestlers and boxers what does a slaty dide like you think about the FCBA’s Asylum Night?”
Rourke: “This is one wild event Nance. I mean the skill I’m seeing up there is impressive and I have to say that I’m just as impressed with the announcer’s as well, if you know what I mean.” Mickey slurs out from behind a pair of brilliantly gaudy gold framed sunglasses and a feather boa that makes him look like a peacock.
O’Dell: “Ugh thanks, I think. I’m not sure if you’ve met my announcing partner, Jen McCarthy.”
Rourke: “ I sure do. Big Mac and I ran into each other at Comrade Borislav’s Bulgarian House of Plastic Perfection, just outside of Sofia.”
McCarthy: “Wha? You’ve got me mixed up with some desperate Eastern European celebrity. I’m natural baby.”
Rourke: “Hey I may have gotten my eyelids tightened up a little but I wasn’t blind to what’d they call it? The Boris Yeltsin Bow to Stern Renovation. It worked for Bea Arthur back in the day and it sure worked for you babe.”
McCarthy: “Shut it!”
Rourke: “Seriously girl. If they ever do a remake of The Golden Girls you’re in . . . “
McCarthy: “Rourke! Shut your pie . . .!”
O’Dell: “It has to be time for round three. Please let it be time.”
Rd 3 Accola out with vigor. Her jab looking to hold off increasing pressure from Mitra. Blonde dancing in with quick punches and then legging it out of Mitra’s range. Accola’s technique still looking good through the first minute of the round. As round progresses some of Mira’s powerful punches find a home against Accola’s ribs. Mitra finally breaking out of her stalking and recon mode to engage the rangy blonde. Accola circles but Mitra steps forward and lands a right cross to blonde’s arm. The tide changes a little with Mitra’s thudding punches stinging the b londe. Mitra able to corner Accola at the end of the round and blast out a well timed combination. Her powerful punches get the brunette her first round.
O’Dell: “Well gals it looks like Rhona may have finally woken up and we’re seeing some of that power we were promised.”
McCarthy: Maybe Nance but I’m still not impressed. I see a possible upset here with cobwebs beign the culprit. Mitra hasn’t fought since beating Garner and it shows.”
Tess: “True she’s got some cobwebs to push aside but once she does she seems capable of doing some damage.”
McCarthy: “Cobwebs? Nothing original Walmart? You’re morphing into a mina bird over there.”
Tess: “Well Bea Arthur that complete Communist face job has me thinking that someone needs to think about buying her own iron curtain to cover herself up during the day. How was that Plastico?”
McCarthy: “Why you . . .!”
O’Dell: “Let’s get back to the action in the ring for the fourth round, shall we my darlings!”
Rd 4 Mitra coming out of her corner with more purpose now. Accola jabs at her opponent but they are still bouncing harmlessly off of muscular arms and shoulders. Mitra chops at the sinewy blonde causing her to get on her bike and pedal away. An endless cycle of Mitra tracking down Accola after putting up with some jabs resumes. Yet the bigger vampire is looking for blood now and is able to hammer home a couple of hooks to Accola’s rib cage. The thuds echo throughout the arena and the crowd groans watching the blonde fighter wince. She knows now that standing and trading punches is suicide. Mitra evens thing up with this round.
O’Dell: “Whoa! That girl has power! The few punches thrown by Rhona were nuclear!”
Tess: “Nancy, from this side of the ring it’s obvious that the muscle girl’s starting to roll which means that it’s so important that Accola stay on the move.”
Suddenly Cassie Scerbo wanders by again. This time escorted by Moon Bloodgood. Just as McCarthy is about to chime in the ponytailed flyweight quickly sticks out her tongue like a little girl and then turns her head in perfect snark fashion and then moves on.
O’Dell: “Anything from you Jen?”
McCarthy through grinding teeth audible in the microphone: “I’d really like to find out where Pointy keeps his scotch right about now!”
O’Dell: “Well since we can’t advertise any liquor sponsors let’s move onto round 5.”
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