CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK
Results: Simguy; Writing: Archer
Sara Jean Underwood, former Playmate of the Year, representing the FCBA’s new stable, the Innsmouth Female Fighting Institute is eager to get into mainstream celebrity fighting, and has signed to face off against Foxfire Boxing’s redoubtable Beth Harnois. It doesn’t look too good for the former centerfold--she’s 5’3 to Beth’s 5’6 and Harnois has been at the fight game a lot longer. However Sara is unintimidated.
“I managed to go nearly 8 rounds with Carmella Decesare, okay, Carm knocked me out, but I stayed with her a long time. Now I figure that being 32, Beth’s probably starting to slow down and at 27, I’m in my physical prime. If I can hang with her 8 rounds, she’ll be so tired, I’ll be able to do the knocking out,” Sara cheerfully explains in the pre-fight.
Beth looks annoyed: “I’m always grateful to get a fight and I know how hard it is to get established in the FCBA, but let me tell you Sara, it doesn’t help to insult your opponent--especially one who is bigger than you.”
“Not that much bigger,” Sara retorts with a smirk--”especially up front.”
Laughter goes through the crowd. Beth gives Sara a grim smile and points at Underwood‘s rack: “They may not be when I get through with them.” Sara chooses not to continue the verbal sparring, but Beth appears to be still looking irked on fight night.
Sara in a hot pink bikini and matching pink gloves. Beth in no nonsense black bikini and gloves. Beth gives the smaller blonde a cold, glaring expression as they touch gloves. Sara seems taken aback at this, though she quickly recovers and gives the older blonde a glare of her own in response.
R1: Sara launches herself at Beth from the bell and tries to force her back to the ropes through sheer ferocity of her wild punches. Foxfire blonde is caught by surprise and finds herself up against the strands, but she quickly starts moving her head to dodge the incoming and pumping back with her right into Sara’s belly and breasts. Then she rings up Sara’s head with a couple of sweeping rights and lefts. Sara now stumbling back. Beth takes the risk of keeping close on the smaller blonde and slugging away. Sara’s head snap from side to side and back. Beth then unloads into the bulging bra cups before her and the trapped mammaries knocked up-down-and side to side as Sara looks stunned by the ferocity of the jugg-mugging offensive. Still, the IFFI blonde grits her teeth and jabs back hard to Beth’s undefended face and makes Harnois step back, a trickle of crimson coming out of her nose. Beth quickly recovers and goes back on the offensive, though more cautiously this time. Hard jabbing to the flanks and belly force Sara to cover up and take more shots to the head. Round ends with Beth in control, but Sara resisting stubbornly with the jab.
R2: Beth moves quickly on Sara at midring and scores a terrific uppercut to the chin that sends shudders through the smaller blonde’s body. Beth fires in some pumping straight rights to the face and more sweeping lefts and rights to the head. Sara hurt and reeling, but she shows heart, trying to shake off the effects of Beth’s punches and hits back with some solid shots to Harnois’ chin that disrupt the taller blonde’s attempts to finish her off. The two stand in close for the second minute as Sara attempts to match Beth shot for shot. Unfortunately, this proves to be a mistake. Beth is able to withstand Underwood’s punches and take advantage of the openings that the offense-while-hurt exposes. Beth working Underwood chin and jaw until the blonde goes down on her butt. Underwood forces herself up to beat the count at 8 and resume the fight, but she is quickly overwhelmed by fresh Beth battering punches to the head. Sara’s arms droop to her sides and referee jumps in to halt the carnage. Beth gives the blonde one last cold look and then turns on her heel. TKO2 Beth Harnois.
After: “She has some good punches, I’ll admit that.” Beth says later, “but she ought to try someone more her own size and skill level. Anybody know if Ellen Page is available?”
“I was hoping to do a lot better than that,” Sara says (much) later. “As far as I am concerned this just shows me what I need to work on.”
“Which is--?” someone wise guy in the back of the assembled scribes calls out.
Sara manages a rueful smile: “Just about everything.”
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