Before: “The Ice Hotel belongs to Jeri’s Knockouts. Plain and simple,” Blake Lively says matter-of-factly, “My only regret is that I wasn’t able to strip it personally from Kelly Brook’s beaten body. Our illustrious ‘queen’ may think she’s got it all figured out, but I’m going to enjoy seeing the look in her eyes after I’ve shoved her face-first into the snow!” If Adriana Lima’s irritated, she’s not letting it on – “Patrons of this fine establishment have known for years that it’s all about one thing: spectacle. Beautiful women are brought here to face the Ice Queen, get beaten, and then get thrown out on their asses. No deviations from the formula. Blake will suffer the same fate as all the others.” Adriana in a gray chinchilla fur bikini, matching gloves and mukluks. Blake in a black fur bikini, matching fur gloves and mukluks. Lima arrives to ring wearing the black sable coat, while Lively has a brown mink coat of her own.
During R1: Blake comes forward confident, aggressive, and determined to set the tone of the fight. Lively’s leading with her right, throwing one after another starting the moment she’s close enough to hit Lima – such is her disrespect for the reigning Ice Queen. Adriana’s tagged repeatedly to the face or tits by either these right hands Blake’s follow-up left hook, but she’s not backing down or yielding an inch of ground, instead electing to trade. Slow circle sees the two go from mid-ring to the ropes and back again as blonde and brunette play cat and mouse; Adriana’s repeatedly staggered as Blake’s right finds its way through her relatively porous guard, but Lima gets in several solid connects with her left hook to the body, putting a shimmy in Lively’s luscious legs more than once. One such exchange at the two-minute mark tells the story of the round – Blake backs up to the ropes and tries to walk Adriana into more punishment when that left hook hammers her liver, drawing an anguished cry from the blonde’s lips. Lively cringing, forced to cover up as Lima immediately pours at her, punching furiously with left/right combinations and trying to hack away at Blake’s guard. End of the round – Adriana saunters back to her corner, broad smile on her face – she knows Blake’s limping back to her corner much more humble than she was three minutes ago.
R2,3: A pattern slowly emerges over the next six minutes – Adriana’s figured out how to bust Blake. Robust trades see both ladies scoring frequently, but Lima’s undoubtedly landing her punches more effectively and hurting Lively more dramatically to tilt the balance in her favor. Adriana’s left hook to the body is the key, reminiscent of the gancha hook from Salma Hayek’s heyday; Blake’s grimacing, sometimes blurting out in pain when it lands, frequently bunched up whenever it lands, and she’s leaving herself open to a subsequent right uppercut to chin or jug and sometimes a left hook to the head to cap it all off. Round 2’s highlight is a left hook from Lima that absolutely wallops Lively’s gut and cripples her, forcing a desperate clinch; Round 3 sees a jug mugging exchange that’s almost a full 30 seconds of wild tit-for-tat pounding, with Blake slowly being forced backwards to the ropes by Adriana. All in all, Adriana’s slowly imposing her will, going 3-0 over Blake.
R4: More thoughtful tack taken by Adriana now that she’s got a nice and comfy lead – she’s no longer looking for a shootout like she was in previous rounds, instead content to apply slow, steady pressure and grind out points. Blake’s jabbing, trying to bring Lima under control, but not succeeding as both of Adriana’s fists make regular contact to the body. Lima crowds in on Lively, focusing on her hooks on ribs and belly, walking Blake back to the ropes until the blonde’s forced to clinch – lather, rinse, repeat. Down the stretch, Adriana’s got Blake on the ropes again, trying to jab her into compliance… Lima leans in for a left hook to the jaw only to be beaten to the punch… ADRIANA’S HURT! Lively finds all of brunette chin with her right cross, leaving her dazed and tottering. Blake jabs once to the jugs, jabs twice, and then pounds her with ANOTHER right hand! Adriana stumbles forward and manages to secure a desperate clinch – she’s destitute, but able to tie up the blonde to the bell. Emphatic message sent by Lively – and more importantly, she’s stolen the round.
R5: Booming left hook to Blake’s chin in the opening moments as the ladies meet in midring results in a gorgeous head-swivel – it’s HER turn to stumble away hurt. Lively’s woozy, destitute, somehow manages to keep her feet, but she’s powerless to stop Lima from pushing her back into her own corner. Much of the round is spent with Blake’s back against the turnbuckle and Adriana laying siege – glorious work being done to the body by the brunette as she carves at midsection with left and right hooks… Blake’s absolutely sick about it, eyes shut and sniveling as she’s being treated like a heavy bag. Adriana stacks Blake up whenever she starts to droop forward and punches away her guard to savage Lively’s rack with rising lefts and rights just because she can. Blonde starts to fight back in the dying moments, landing jabs to the face with vigor and forcing Lima to back off – it’s all she can do to prevent a complete rout.
R6: Sloppy, close quarters stuff – the pace of the fight and the amount of punishment being dished out seems to be taking its toll. Majority of the round is spent with one against the ropes until she can wrestle the other and reverse their positions. Lots of clinching, lots of holding and hitting as Lively and Lima’s blows tend to be to the body, though neither can resist a rising punch to the tits or a quick, short uppercut to the chin when she can manage it. Overall, Adriana’s winning this slog, working a tad bit harder and putting Blake’s back against the strands for just a bit longer.
R7: Grueling trading of punches resumes – these two are facing each other down like a pair of ships of the line firing their cannons broadside. Lima in control at the onset, winning the exchanges with her dominating left hook, but she’s taking a shellacking she can ill afford to soak up. Lively’s backpedaling to the ropes, tapping Adriana in the face with the left jab, then unleashes a gorgeous right cross to the chin that unhinges the brunette and sends her stumbling into the strands. Lima tries to cover up but she’s badly buzzed, groaning as Blake is repeatedly able to bash her head sideways with a left hook or rock it back with a short compact right. Adriana’s composure finally breaks as she’s subjected to a heartless crisscrossed jug mugging from Blake – she’s just slumped in the strands unable to do anything other than take it. A right uppercut moments before the bell snaps Adriana’s head back violently and her legs buckle visibly, but she’s able to keep her feet – what in god’s name is holding her up?
R8: Adriana finds her second wind as she meets Blake in midring – blonde cringes as she takes another left hook to the liver while her own right hand misses over top. Lima doubles up the left hook, pounding it against the side of Lively’s head and sending her stumbling back. Adriana hounds Blake around the perimeter of the ring, mostly throwing more left hooks to the blonde’s head or right crosses to the chin or stomach – Lima’s either no longer cares if she punches herself out, or her form has degraded to the point where finesse is no longer an option. Lively’s getting tagged repeatedly, stepping into fence-holes as she’s staggered more than once, but she’s keeping her legs and punching back, even if it’s just don’t-hurt-me fare –she’s still standing at the bell, and that’s what matters.
R9: Lima picks up right where she left off, overwhelming Lively with volume – Adriana’s punches are often wide, but the ones that land are clearly rattling the tired blonde. Again a slow circle around the ring’s perimeter… Blake’s backpedaling, trying to avoid harm, hoping to walk Adriana into something – anything – that can turn the tide. The moment comes as brunette stalks blonde parallel to the ropes: a pair of jabs kick Lima’s head back stopping her in her tracks… Lively turns and puts her full weight behind a right cross from the shoulder and LIMA GOES DOWN! Adriana’s eyes go vacant as she stumbles forward and collapses face-first on the canvas – Blake’s standing over her for a second roaring in triumph before being directed to the neutral corner. Lima’s able to lift her head up off the mat and prop herself up on her forearms as the count begins, sweaty hair clinging to the side of her head and parched lips open just a crack – it’s almost like a sick parody of a pose that the supermodel might be more accustomed to striking. Lima’s able to reach for the ropes and pull herself up at 8, and BLAKE’S ALL OVER HER! Lively’s form largely gone now as well as she stands toe to toe and tries to get Adriana out of there, pounding both flanks with a left/left/right pattern, pausing tiredly in between threes but willing herself to pile on more hurt. Adriana clearly crippled, sliding away along the ropes, just trying to escape but Blake pursues her and keeps the two of them squared up… A bashing left hook to the jaw swivels Lima’s head sideways before a matching right knocks it back the other way. Adriana’s limp and butt in ropes, all but out on her feet as the first of Blake’s punches start to pound her breasts… jugs and chin, jugs and chin, jugs and chin… and SOMEHOW Adriana doesn’t go down! End of the round bell finally rings, ending Lima’s punishment for the time being – cheap late right hand to the jaw from a frustrated Blake as she gave everything she had but couldn’t finish Adriana off.
R10: Tired beauties plod out to midring – Blake knows she needs a knockout or something dramatic if she’s going to win this thing. Lively’s punches are losing their sting, but still connecting accurately as left jabs snap at Lima’s face and right crosses land with blistering strength. Adriana’s fighting back but her left and right hooks to the body aren’t tight compared to Blake’s punches coming down the middle, and she’s losing exchanges and steadily getting outworked. Final minute, Blake and Adriana trade a right cross to the jaw and a left hook to the liver respectively… blonde takes a step back, seemingly harmed by the blow… Adriana puts it all into a left hook to the jaw, snapping Blake’s head sideways, lifts a right uppercut to the chin… LIVELY GOES DOWN! Blake sprawls on her back, gloves at her chest in a weak imitation of a guard stance, eyes shut as she moans incoherently… She’s able to push herself up at the count of 9.9, but she’s WRECKED! Adriana’s achy, but flashing a grin of recognition at what’s just transpired, and marches in to push Blake back to the ropes… She gets her own payback as she shrugs rising lefts and rights into Lively’s bra, hammering the jugs without mercy. Blake’s somnambulant, moaning in anguish as her rack is getting pounded, and unable to do anything but sit and take it to the bell. UD10 Adriana Lima.
After: Tears of joy and a delighted smile on Adriana’s face as referee raises her hand in the air… Gloves are off immediately as she seeks to perform her duty as Ice Queen.
Blake’s on her stool, still disoriented after the knockdown as Adriana takes a good grip on her hair and tugs her to her feet… Lima gently leads her through the ropes and down the ring steps, before pushing on her shoulder and shoving her down to her knees in position for the dreaded Victoria's Secret Body Saddle™. Lively’s not resisting, too dazed to realize that she even should be as the saddle is secured around her body… Lima pushes the blonde down to all fours and mounts up riding her out of the ballroom and through the lobby.
Front doors swing wide open – Adriana’s got a secure hold on Blake’s hair, using them like a set of reins, guiding her out into the familiar snow embankment. Dismounting, Adriana unfastens the saddle and removes it from Blake’s body, then hooks her leg around the blonde’s arm and kicks it out from under her, dropping Lively face first into the snow. Lima leaves her lying there and turns around to return inside her castle as the limo pulls up to take Blake away.
In the days to come, FCBA punditry is abuzz with the fact that Lima has now conquered three members of JKO’s fighters all in a row, claiming supremacy over them all – rousing debates take place as to whether this is a sign of decline at JKO and whether or not Lima’s success will prove to be a fluke. One person, however, isn’t the slightest bit surprised by the outcome:
“What did I tell you?” Adriana proclaims proudly, “Spectacle.”
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