Posted by Archer News Service
on 3/13/2012, 4:28 pm
Another FCBA PPV was on the schedule and Skip Tracey was at his desk going over his notes for the event. There looked to be 4 title fights on the card and plenty of exciting undercard action. Skip flipped through the pages of his trusty notebook pleased at the material had gathered for his latest pre-PPV report.
FLYWEIGHT
CASSIE SCERBO (BAZZ FIGHT CLUB) VS MICHELLE WILLIAMS (HAWKEYE INTERNATIONAL)
“I can’t wait to get at Williams!” Cassie Scerbo announced. “If you ask me, the old girl wore herself on ‘Nessie Hudgens. I’ll be the one to finish her off. Hey, another glorious victory for the ‘Scerb-a-tor’!”
“I swear, Skip, the kids in this organization ought to be taken out for a collective spanking,” Michelle Williams complained to Skip. “They have absolutely no respect for a proven veteran like me. I think I’ve put Hudgens in her place--for the moment, anyway--and now I have to deal with that loudmouth Scerbo. Well, it’s a tough job, but beating down these snots has to be done and I do feel a sense of satisfaction when I do it. Say, Skip want to watch me try on bikinis for the PPV?”
“Sure!” Skip said enthusiastically…
Much later Skiip went over the fight in his head. Cassie was full of pranks and smart remarks, but she was a good fighter too. Still, he didn’t think she had enough at this point to defeat Mish. (Unless, of course, Cassie was right about the Vanessa Hudgens struggle taking a lot out of Mish).
KRISTEN BELL (FIGHTING ACADEMY)VS SARA JEAN UNDERWOOD (I.F.F.I.)
“I was 3-2 last year,” Kristen Bell told Skip, “and that is just not satisfactory to me. I consider myself an elite fighter, but I realize that I have to work myself back up to that level this year. Underwood is pretty much a rookie, but it never hurts to beat down a new name to keep yours fresh. That’s what this fight is all about.”
“I won’t try to delude anyone by not facing the reality that I am a big underdog in this fight,” Sara Jean said frankly when Skip checked with the Innsmouth Institute fighter. “But I think this can be a valuable fight for me. If I can prove that I can at least keep up with a veteran like Kristen and build on that, I’ll have a much better career down the line.”
Skip liked Sara’s idea of this fight as a “learning experience’ for her, but it was more likely to be a costly lesson for her. Kristen Bell had lost her last 2 fights and would likely be wanting to erase the memory with a decisive win over the newcomer.
BRIANA EVIGAN (GARET GUNNERS) VS LEIGHTON MEESTER (LOOKOUT! BOXING)
“I wasn’t able to get into FCBA action in all of 2011. I know Garnet tried hard, but nothing seem to work out,” Briana explained to Skip. “Finally, I am getting back into the ring. Meester is a good fighter to knock the rust off with--after all, she’s lost her last 6 fights. I am hoping to clean up on her and re-establish himself in this federation.”
Leighton Meester glared when Skip told her Briana had brought up her losing record. “I might have known that two-bit jobber would bring that up! You think I like losing six fights in a row--especially when I believe I am SO much better than that. Let me tell you, Mr. Tracey, I am going to knock that girl into next Wednesday and then pick her up and do it again! I am going to break this freakin’ losing streak and break Briana Evigan, too!”
Skip realized that Briana had hit a nerve when she brought up Leighton’s losing streak. It had Ms. Meester fired up, but would it simply distract her in the fight with Briana. Still, Briana had seen little FCBA action in past two years and she might prove too rusty in this point to defeat the Lookout boxer.
RACHAEL LEIGH COOK (GARNET GUNNERS) VS EMMA WATSON (TECH UNLIMITED)
“I am a fighter on the rise,” Emma Watson stated for Skip. “I beat Sarah Michelle, true she’s not the fighter she once was, but still she was a veteran. Then I went 10 rounds with Ashley Tisdale. Believe me, sir, she is a very tough young fighter and I am proud I went the distance with her. I feel that is evidence of my steady improvement as a boxer. Now, of course, I need to continue to improve and defeating Rachael Cook would be part of that. I have every confidence of being able to accomplish that in this bout.”
Rachael Leigh Cook didn’t seem to like Emma Watson’s attitude towards her: “She thinks of me as some kind of stepping stone. I know her type. She thinks she’s better than me just because I havent had a lot of my career. Well, let tell you something: you do not EVER underestimate Rachael Cook. You can ask Beth Harnois about that--put her on the canvas in 2. I’ll do the same to that snotty Brit!”
“Well,” Emma responded later, “I meant no disrespect to Rachael, but I can read her record as well as anyone and her chances do not compare favorably to mine.”
Skip sympathized with Rachael Leigh, but he did think that the odds in this fight were indeed favorable to Emma Watson. The English girl seemed to be getting better with every fight and this one was quite winnable for her. Still, Rachael was dangerous opponent and very upset-minded, so it not going to be a “sure thing” for the TU fighter.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON (JERI’S KNOCKOUTS) VS AMANDA SEYFRIED (FRONT STREET GYM)
“I haven’t chosen the easy way,” Amanda Seyfried explained to Skip, “and so I’ve had to pay for it with more losses than I would like. Still, I don’t feel losing to the likes of Hewitt and Kreuk is that disgraceful. Although, frankly, I think Hewitt is just like the rest of those JKO girls--a vicious bully. That’s really why I want to fight Scarlett. I want to do to her what Love Hewitt did to me--beat her to a pulp just for the sheer hell of it. I know some people probably can’t do that, but I am motivated, Skip and ‘ScarJo’ is going to be left in ruins because of it!”
Scarlett sniffed upon hearing the threat: “Love showed Amanda up for the third-rate fighter she really is and that’s what she can’t stand. Beat me to a pulp? Please! That’s enough make me laugh if it weren’t so pathetic. No, I’m going to put nice shiners around those big blue eyes of hers so they’ll be symbolic of the blackeye this fight will be on her record!”
Skip understood Amanda’s desire for retribution against JKO, but Scarlett looked to be too much for her. He was concerned that Scarlett might try to out-do the damage inflicted on the Front Street blonde by Love Hewitt (not to mention the possibilities for post-fight humiliation). This fight could very easily become a nightmare for Amanda Seyfried.
(UNIFIED FLYWEIGHT TITLE) CH NATALIE PORTMAN (HISC) VS ASHLEY TISDALE (LOOKOUT! BOXING)
“I earned this title shot fair and square: I beat Emma Watson and now I am fighting Portman for the belts,” Ashley Tisdale said excitedly when Skip visited the Lookout gym. “I’ve beaten her stablemate Claire Danes and I can’t wait to do it to her. Honestly, I think Natalie’s gotten a little stuck-up since she joined HISC. It’s up to me to teach her to be a little more humble, which she’ll be when she sees me wearing those belts.”
Natalie Portman shrugged: “The kid’s going to her first Big Dance and she’s shooting off her mouth about it. I don’t take that personally. What I do take personally is the prospect of losing my title. She’s dangerous, no doubt of that, but I am not going to be unprepared. Sure she beat Claire, but I know how she did it and I’m not about to make the mistakes Claire made. It will likely be a difficult fight until I can gain control, then I’ll break her spirit and it will be downhill for her from there.”
This looked to a very spirited battle for the title and one Skip was looking forward to watching. Natalie was enjoying a strong title run and so had to be favored, but Ashley was a worthy young challenger and could well pull off the upset.
BANTAMWEIGHTS
KATE BECKINSALE (EMPIRE BOXING) VS JENNY MCCARTHY (SCEEJ BOXING)
“Oh, I am really eager for this one,” Jenny McCarthy gleefully told Skip, “I want to be able to force Kate into another topless walk of shame like our March 2009. Of course, that one had the bonus of getting me the bantam title, but, hey, I’m always ready humiliate that British bag o’ wind.”
“I despise that woman, I really and truly DESPISE her!” Kate Beckinsale said with real feeling. “I’ve beaten her before and I shall really and truly defeat her this time. She calls ME a ‘bag of wind’ ?! If there is anyone as vulgar, self-centered and nasty as Jenny McCarthy--I do not ever wish to meet her! McCarthy will pay for her vile actions and her insulting tongue--pay dearly, I promise you that, sir!”
This fight, Skip thought, was a Grudge Match with a capital G. McCarthy and Beckinsale hated one another and didn’t mind letting everyone know that. The result probably wouldn’t be held up as an example of a proper boxing bout, but he was willing to bet it would terrifically exciting and he didn’t even care to risk a guess on the possible winner. Too much could happen for that.
ASHLEY GREENE (FLOYDIAN) VS MARGOT ROBBIE (HMK)
“Oh yes, we certainly did spar between takes while I was on ‘Pan Am’,” said Ashley Green confided to Skip. “She’s not bad, but she hasn’t had the experience that I do. I am sure we’ll have a pretty good fight, but when it’s over, you’ll see why I get the win.”
“I seem to recall she spent most of our sparring sessions telling me ‘Not so hard, not so hard, I’ve got a scene coming.’” Margot Robbie responded “To me that shows she lacks heart. A good Australian boxer would be ashamed to ever say. So that’s why think I’ll have the edge against her in a real bout.”
“How dare she say something like that,” Ashley fumed when Skip relayed Margot’s comments. “I have never lacked heart and that’s something she’ll find out before I take her out. She should learn to watch her mouth in the FCBA--there is always someone like me ready to shut it for her!”
Skip was a bit surprised at the apparent intensity between the two co-stars. Of course, on-set sparring did have a way to getting out of hand and leaving ill-will between the combatants. This looked to be a classic example. Margot was a 1-1-0 question mark, while the more experienced Ashley was 6-7-0 (2-2-0 since 2010). The early betting line favored Ashley, but Skip thought Margot had a very good chance to snatching the win. In any case, this fight should be harder fought than he had anticipated.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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