The Man In The Hat enters the interview room with everyone already assembled. Grumpy reporters wonder why the normal post-fight session has been put off so long. The smile on the Man In The Hat's face should tell the tale.
He takes his seat at the center of the dais. To his left are Britney Spears, Neve Campbell, Jewel, and Avril Lavigne. To his right sit Serinda Swan, Amanda Seyfried, Pink, and Mariska Hargitay.
Man In The Hat: "Sorry we had to delay this. Left right after Amanda's fight to fly up to Boston for OSU and Syracuse."
He pauses, then glances at Amanda. "Sullinger had a better night than YOU, kid."
There's laughter, but none from Seyfried, and he continues. "Just havin' some fun with ya, kid. Could be it's too soon. Now, before we get started, let me congratulate some people. First, my good friend Paris, who made Ashley Tisdale flyweight champ. And to the best manager in the FCBA, Tech, who got a huge win from A.J. Cook tonight. Now, the Cook kid has talent aplenty, but, it says here Tech could make a tomato can into a contender. Heck, maybe he could even do somethin' with Prejean!"
Man In The Hat: "Also, in the 'Wiz is always right' department, I TOLD you all how good Wonder Woman is. And I have PREACHED about Strahovski, have I not? Both were great tonight. Now. Questions. Cable Boy, go!"
HBO Reporter: "Disappointed in Amanda?"
Man In The Hat: "Disappointed in the results, not the effort. Kid's shown me some stuff in these three fights against Hewitt, Kreuk, and ScarJo. All champs. And Amanda competed. I'm proud of that. Cable Boy II, go!"
Showtime Reporter: "You've said this is a year of evaluation. Amanda's 0-3. That can't be good."
Man In The Hat: "Son, if all you had to do was look at records, there'd be no point in evaluatin' at all. I've put the kid in tough. She's done OK. She didn't get a result. OK. We'll move on. We'll take the foot off the gas for awhile. Move to a different phase of her development. I'm not giving up on the kid. I believe in her. Brunette Magazine. Let me guess, you want to talk about Swanny?"
Brunette Magazine Reporter: "She looked great tonight, Wiz..."
Man In The Hat: "Son, she LOOKS great EVERY night!"
Man In The Hat: "Seriously, though, Swanny was AWESOME tonight. Awesome. At fly, I'm lookin' for someone to step forward. At light, I got the opposite problem. I got four girls who step up all the time. Swanny's one of those. She's as good as anyone I got. Tess. dear, go!"
Tess: "What's next for Amanda and Serinda?"
Man In The Hat: "We're backin' off the throttle on Amanda. Gonna give her a little time off, then bring her back against some girls at her experience level. As for Swanny, we'll see what offers are out there. I suspect we'll HAVE a few. Now, we're outta here..."
Reporter: "Hey...wait...I want to ask..."
Man In The Hat: "You HEAR somethin', Av?"
Avril: "Sounds faint...like it's coming from 'the other side'..."
Man In The Hat: "Sounds a little like Old Smackeroo. But it CAN'T be. He's a dead man. Went down Thursday night. Another good man fallen. Now, we're outta here! Tess, bring Smackeroo's ghost with you to the limo!"
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