BEFORE: Playa del Carmen, Mexico – the sandy beaches in this picturesque Caribbean resort town have been Eva’s to rule with an iron fist for the last three years. “The beach circuit is usually a territorial affair,” notes one Celebrity Ring columnist, “so it’s unusual to see LaRue, someone deeply involved in the Miami scene, venture out into other venues. She’s done a good job defending this turf while juggling her Miami obligations at the same time: she turned back a very strong challenge from Jenny O’Dell soon after taking control of this beach; an ill-fated attempt by Kiana Tom in 2010 to expand her business enterprise to the Gulf Coast ended with a one-sided belly-punching beatdown that no one’s going to forget; last summer saw Eva fight a busy schedule and turn back challenges from Denise Richards, Marisa Miller, and Kim Kardashian.” And what of Jeri Ryan? “She flat out refused to fight me ringposts in the sand. That speaks louder than anything else as far as I’m concerned,” Eva smirks, “If she wants a vacation she should stick to the sights in town and avoid the beach.” Jeri nonplussed but restraining her ire to a few catty remarks in return: “If Eva thinks a home field advantage is going to do her any good, then she’s even more brainless than I thought. I’ll see her out on the sand, and I’ll make her see the errors of her ways.” Jeri in black velvet string bikini; white gloves; hair is up with ringlets framing face. Eva in white bikini with turquoise connections at hips and between jugs; white gloves; hair loose and tangly. Ring is set up on the beach with bleachers forming a U around it, seats facing out into the scenic Mexican surf.
During R1: Smart, tactical stuff from both ladies in the opening minutes of the bout – Eva and Jeri each look to claim the upper hand early in the fight, yet both maintain a calm and collected air without becoming overeager. Jabs are the foundation for both, as Ryan seeks to set up her lethal right hand while LaRue tries to negotiate her way inside. Down the stretch, another trade of right hands as Jeri lands a cross to chin and Eva a hook to ribs; LaRue beats Ryan to the follow-up with a left hook to the jaw that sends her stumbling into fence post holes. Jeri’s glassy-eyed for a moment, staring as another right and left hook clap her head back and forth, driving her to the ropes. Eva plugs away to the tummy when she can and to the ribs when she can’t, digging her fists in behind Jeri’s elbows as blonde shows earmuff, riding it out as she takes a bad beefy beatdown. After the bell: Eva cuffs Jeri’s jugs with a cheap right hand late, drawing an outraged yet helpless whine of protest from Jeri.
R2: Bracing jabs disrupt Eva from the start; thick heavy left hands bash her hard across the mouth, punching her out of her stance – Ryan’s right cross lands squarely below her left eye, putting her wobbly-butt. Jeri’s recovering nicely, going strong after brunette – LaRue’s a bit spooked by the right hand as she retreats, allowing blonde to cut off more and more of the ring successively. Jeri finally corrals Eva to the ropes and lays siege; brunette covers up, turning from side to side as she tries to block and slip blonde’s punches, but she’s still getting buffeted time and again leaving her unable to get off with punches of her own. Ryan’s unhurried, not smearing LaRue against the strands – she’s taking her time, showing good form as she has her way and treats Eva like her own personal heavy bag. Seconds to go: Eva slides sideways to her right off of the ropes, retreating and looking to circle back towards midring; Jeri measures her perfectly for a right cross and LARUE GOES DOWN! Eva’s dropped to her back in an instant, jugs sloshing – her arms are around her chest with hands up in the air, legs quivering, eyes shut as her head lolls back and forth, moaning softly as she tries to shake off the hurt. Jeri stands over her showboating, bringing her right glove up to her lips and blowing on it like it’s a sheriff’s six-shooter, savoring the moment instead of going to the neutral corner as she knows that LaRue’s going to be saved by the bell.
R3: Jeri marches straight across the ring at the bell, determined to apply the finishing touches, but Eva won’t cooperate. LaRue’s still a bit shaky, not venturing out far from her corner, but won’t punk – she’s able to surprise Ryan with her left jab as blonde comes in, rocking her head back with a pair of thudding blows. Eva negotiates her way into the pocket, wants to take the fight into Jeri’s trunks, but real estate won’t come cheap as blonde gives as good as she gets up close. Furious exchanges of punches over the next three minutes – Jeri’s grimacing as strapping blows pound her flanks, cringing as rising punches find her jugs, legs tremble whenever the odd uppercut hits her chin; Eva’s frequently getting disrupted by a well-timed left to the breadbasket or to the outside of her right tit, then getting rocked hard by a right hook to the side of her head or uppercut to the chin. Time and again it’s the brunette that’s giving way – LaRue clinches just before Ryan can pounce, walking back to the ropes for a referee’s break. End of the round, Eva has blonde tied up again – Jeri bumps LaRue back into the strands with her shoulder and UNLEASHES to brunette’s rack, hooking with both hands to the outsides of her breasts! Eva’s aghast as her proud chest is getting ransacked… and Jeri’s still plugging away after the bell! Blonde has to be pulled off of her quarry as LaRue snarls back, both ladies screaming their heads off at each other – the amount of jug-hate stirred up by this fight is suddenly off the charts.
R4: LaRue and Ryan pick up right where they left off – busy round for both as they exchange punches in midring. Jeri’s returned to her jab, showing some smart footwork, and seemingly can’t miss as she’s zeroed in on Eva’s right eye and cheek – brunette is starting to bust up from the heavy punches that are repeatedly pounding her face. Blonde aggression rules the day as it’s Jeri who’s initiating and landing the more telling shots, but credit where it’s due – Eva’s fighting back gamely, slipping or blocking most of Jeri’s headhunting and counterpunching impressively, connecting regularly with her left hook to the side of Ryan’s head or scrubbing her bulging breasts with malice when the opportunity presents itself.
R5: Jeri gasps as a left hook to the midsection bunches her up; Eva reloads and strokes the blonde ear-to-chin with another. LaRue showing much better adjustments, skillfully using that left to negotiate her way into close quarters where she continues to work the body, taking tummy and tits with both hands… Ryan elects to stand her ground and brawls back, but she’s getting banged up on the inside. All in all it’s an aggressive brunette winning exchanges and having her way.
R6: Jeri steps into the jab, breaking apart Eva’s defense, then leans into a right hand to the chin… LaRue’s legs buckle as she stumbles, trying to regain her footing. Left hook finds the side of brunette’s head, then Ryan lights her up with a right uppercut, bashing Eva’s mouthpiece off her teeth! LaRue’s groggy and reeling, backpedal becomes a full-blown retreat as she suddenly doesn’t want any more blonde. Jeri pursues for two minutes unable to pin Eva down who stays well out of range or bogs down Ryan in clinches before she can unload. Final minute, LaRue slides back to the ropes… Jeri starts to jab and Eva times it perfectly, landing a short right to the jaw inside Ryan’s left; Jeri turns for a right cross but Eva ducks and slips off the shoulder then comes out of the crouch with a left hook to the chin… RYAN’S HURT! Blonde steps into fence post holes as she’s suddenly staggered… she tries to fight her way out of trouble but falls victim to Eva’s counterpunching – groggy punches are slipped by the brunette, who uses the openings to strap at Jeri’s flanks with both hands. Ryan’s tottering, cringing as her midsection is carved up, throws another right hand but gets beaten to the punch as a right uppercut HAMMERS her chin! Eva slides to her right as Jeri collapses and falls forward against the ropes, then palms at Ryan’s shoulder to stack her up against the strands… Jeri’s hands are chest-high, leaving her head wide open to be snapped back and forth by Eva’s left and right hooks… JERI’S READY TO GO! LaRue’s just pouring away as Ryan soaks up a beating out on her feet. AND SHE’S SAVED BY THE BELL! Eva squeals in delight as she saunters back to her corner with both hands raised triumphantly; Jeri looks majestic in her shabbiness as she slumps against the ropes with gloves at her waist, lower lip bloodied, damp sweaty ringlets of hair obscuring the sleepy look in her tired eyes.
R7: Jeri’s slow off her stool, still looking a bit shopworn – simple task for to Eva to exert her will on blonde. LaRue jabs as she moves in, shrugs her fists into Ryan’s beltline, grinning as each shot intensifies the pained grimace on Jeri’s face. Ryan’s offering jabs back and trying to hold back Eva from taking canvas, but she’s still getting forced back, necessitating one clinch after another lest she be overwhelmed by leather or driven back to the ropes. Punishment starts to add up in Ryan’s legs – late in the round a clouting left hook drives Jeri back into a corner; Eva taps once, twice with the left jab to the face then splits the gloves with a right uppercut that catches her clean under the chin, buckling her legs. Ryan falls forward for a clinch wrapped up around LaRue’s upper arms, chin on brunette’s shoulder – Jeri’s eyes are shut and she’s cringing as Eva continues to fit short compact lefts and rights into her ribs. At the bell, Eva wraps her arms around Ryan’s waist and forces them together body to body, forehead to forehead: “Listen to me Jeri: I’m coming your jugs next round. You hear me? They’re mine for the taking.” Beaming look on Eva’s face as the taunt registers in the blonde’s eyes; Jeri’s sullen, disheveled but defiant as she shoves the brunette away.
R8: True to her word, Eva takes the fight to Jeri’s chest as they square off in midring; Jeri meets her challenge and attacks offending rack with equal vigor. No finesse or elegance about it – there’s only the savage beauty of a pair of bosomy women battle for jug supremacy like two ships of the line firing broadside. Eva’s pumping with crisscrossed punches to Ryan’s hulking breasts, knowing the success others have had with it in the past, while Jeri shrugs left and right hooks to the outsides of LaRue’s impressive jugs: angry shrieks and anguished cries echo across the beach venue as blonde and brunette fight with the ferocity and punch count more befitting of ingénues half their age. Slowly but surely, Eva’s getting more than she bargained for – the pulverizing power of Jeri’s fists forces one breathless clinch, a series of uppercuts into the overhanging ledge of LaRue’s bikini top forces a second, a heavy right cross smashes Eva’s left tit and drives her back to the ropes in the final minute. Ryan helps herself to jug! Eva’s butt in ropes, blinded by tears as she’s powerless to stop the pummeling; Jeri’s own misty eyes barely conceal the ferocious jug-hate in her gaze as she shrugs away with both fists, using up all of LaRue’s rack and then some. Bell: Jeri roars in Eva’s face as the brunette snivels and cradles her throbbing chest, then struts back to her corner with both arms lifted in triumph – she acts like she’s just won the match!
R9: Both ladies mouthbreathing, looking punched out – fierce pace and punishment of the previous round has taken a definite toll. Eva looks a bit fresher, forcing her way inside easily to back Jeri up and press her into the ropes. Ryan’s back is against the strands from bell to bell – she’s showing earmuff as LaRue straps at her with mindless lefts and rights. Blonde does a good job minimizing the damage as brunette lays siege, using her elbows to good effect to protect her flanks from marauding hooks, absorbing most punches to the head on her gloves, fitting in the occasional counter, but there’s not much more she can do to stem the tide.
R10: Eva fits a left hook into Jeri’s ribs, then another to her liver, bunching her up in her tracks; blonde’s staring as LaRue finds ALL of her jaw with a right hand, producing a gorgeous head-swivel… JERI’S HURT! Blonde clattering on her heels, trying to find her footing, backpedaling as Eva hounds her. Ryan is able to retreat and buy time until the halfway point when Eva finally gets her to the ropes – Ryan jabs with her left, trying to keep LaRue off her and instead eats a left hook on the mouth for her trouble. Eva’s going all in, throwing all of her reserves into finishing Jeri… LaRue with a quick right/left/right to Ryan’s midsection, then pounds her jaw with a left hook - tired but merciless work as Eva throws this combination over and over, taking a second or two to reload then going right back at it. Jeri’s wilting on the ropes, groggy as she’s rocked by one left hook after another, but strong legs hold her up to the bell as Eva can’t put her away. Verdict comes back – Ryan and LaRue have fought each other to a draw.
Close 6th round is the key – Eva argues that her late heroics should have won her the round and thus the fight, while Jeri emphatically states that it wasn’t enough, but neither side can sway the judges. Beach rules automatically call for overtime – women will fight until one can secure a two-point margin or knock the other out.
R11: Jeri jabbing methodically at the start, pumping her left into Eva’s cheek, mouth, and chest, snapping her head back almost at will; LaRue looks frazzled, more tired than anyone expected from her 10th round efforts. After one minute Eva takes a right cross to the temple, stunning her and sending her stumbling back to the ropes… Jeri stacks her up then goes to work with strapping palm-down lefts and rights to LaRue’s flanks or snatching uppercuts to her breasts. Eva open-mouthed, groaning more and plaintively as she’s ransacked, absolutely sick about it – she’s trying to block and move her body to minimize the damage but she’s just getting banged up and systematically broken down. Late in the round a right uppercut hammers LaRue’s chin, loosening her up – Jeri palms at Eva’s shoulder with her left and drives the right cross into her chin again and again… Brunette grows more and more somnambulant with each blow, finally slides forward and sinks to all fours. Eva’s propped up on her forearms, staring blankly through half-lidded eyes at the patch of canvas in front of her… by some miracle she’s able to push herself up to her feet, but that’s it – Jeri Ryan takes the round 10-8 and wins the fight UD11.
After: Eva’s on her stool being tended to when Jeri, already degloved, makes her way over and clears LaRue’s attendants out: tugging the boozy brunette up to her feet, Ryan jams her back against the turnbuckle and pulls her head down into the waiting swell of blonde breasts. Eva’s high-pitched protests are muffled by the blonde’s hot and sweaty flesh as Jeri cinches up right arm around neck and left grasping brunette hair, relaxed effort as she squeezes tighter and tighter. Eva pushes plaintively at Jeri’s flanks with her palms, desperate to get free from the blonde’s breath-stealing jugs, but there’s no escape – all she can do is take it and suffer.
Eva’s legs eventually start to give way and Jeri releases. Taking a firm grip on brunette hair, Ryan marches LaRue out to midring and shoves her down to the canvas; rolling her onto her back and straddling her waist, Jeri bends down and pins Eva’s wrists to the mat.
Jeri: “Whose beach is this?”
Eva: “Y… Yours. It’s yours.”
Jeri: “Damn straight it is.”
Jeri bends down and lowers her chest onto Eva’s face, once again engulfing her in jug. Jeri keeps Eva pinned, rests her chin on the crown of brunette’s head, not bothering with a secured grip – gravity will do its job adequately. Eva squirms but is unable to do much more than writhe beneath her blonde conqueror – unconsciousness soon mercifully claims her as Ryan lets go and rises to her feet.
It’s a beautiful sight to behold: Jeri standing proudly with the ocean behind her, posing triumphantly with her foot on brunette belly while Eva lies vanquished beneath her, knocked out underneath the hot Mexican sun.
« Back to index