"Anyone ever hear of Minnie Driver," asks a smiling Lauren. "One of those indie welters who got kind of lost in the shuffle? Remember what she did to Cat Bell? That's exactly what I'm going to do to Sobieski."
"She's slick," says Leelee, not a trace of a smile on her face. "She's experienced. She's in great shape. She's dangerous. It would be foolish to take her lightly. And I'm no fool."
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot', by Pat Benatar, and here comes Lauren!"
Tess: "A little trivia, fans, Pat Benatar was the first concert Lauren ever attended."
McCarthy: "Where DO you come up with this stuff, Walmart?"
Tess: "It's called 'research', Mac. Try it sometime!"
O'Dell: "Lauren into the ring, drops the robe, looking great in that sky blue two piece...and that's 'Uprising' by Muse and that can only mean..."
McCarthy: "Over. Rated."
O'Dell: "In case you fans have forgotten, and, fat chance of that, Leelee and Mac don't get along. Tess has picked Sobieski. Mac?"
McCarthy: "I'm going with the underdog and picking Graham in an upset!"
O'Dell; "'The Polish Princess' into the ring. Helped off with the...oh, no!"
McCarthy: "I WILL SMACK YOU ALL THE WAY TO NEW JERSEY, SOBIESKI! I WANT YOUR A**! IN A RING, IN A PUB, ON A FREAKIN' CRUISE SHIP! YOU'RE MINE! YOU'RE MINE!"
O'Dell: "Now, calm down, Mac..."
Tess: "In case the fans haven't put two and two together, Mac is reacting to Leelee's 'Team Regan' t-shirt, which Sobieski is now stripping off to reveal her black bikini..."
McCarthy: "DON'T YOU THROW THAT AT ME, YOU..."
Fred "The Hammer" Williamson
Police Academy 11: Even Leslie Easterbrook Didn't Come Back For This One...
O'Dell: "...SO WE CAN BROADCAST THE FREAKING FIGHT!"
Tess: "I believe we're back, much to the relief of the viewing audience..."
O'Dell: "And, just to catch up the fans, Leelee tossed her shirt to Mac, here, who threw it back at her. Leelee then tossed it to a fan..."
McCarthy: "Fan? It must be her only ONE!"
O'Dell: "And, it looks like we're ready to get underway. Lauren moving forward...AND DOWN SHE GOES! OHH! SOBIESKI TIMES HER FIRST SHOT AND PUTS GRAHAM ON THE CANVAS WITH IT!"
Tess: "I don't think I've ever SEEN that...and I've seen PREJEAN fight!"
McCarthy: "Shut UP, Walmart!"
O'Dell: "And, while the fans do a shot, Lauren tries to recover from the one Leelee just landed. She's up at eight, taking the mandatory, and here comes Sobieski. Leelee throwing leather...AND GRAHAM FIRING RIGHT BACK! The brunette ringing up the blonde, backing Sobieski up!"
McCarthy: "Looks like our little 'Polish Princess' is getting sloppy and Lauren is taking advantage."
O'Dell: "Graham has the blonde on the defensive now, digging body and timing right hands. Leelee a little buzzed, being careful now, covering up and clinching."
McCarthy: "'Smart' and 'Sobieski' aren't terms you usually use in the same sentence, but she's being smart here."
O'Dell: "Lauren using her jab now, setting up some clean right hands. Leelee jabbing back some, but being outworked as the bell rings to end the first."
Tess: "Not sure that's a 10-8 round, Mac..."
McCarthy: "See? You ARE learning from hanging around with me. Graham did enough to fight back to 10-9 on my card. Still Leelee's round, but Lauren goes down one point and not two."
O'Dell: "Back to work in the second, and Lauren pumping that left jab. Sobieski using her own in response. Both ladies landing some good, crisp shots."
Tess: "That jab is a major weapon for Leelee. She scores a LOT of points with it, and she can lump you UP with it, too."
O'Dell: "Graham showing good feet, moving and giving Sobieski angles. Leelee finding the range, though. Getting the jab going. Lauren banging back with her own. Good two-way exchanges. Some good power punches being landed on both sides."
McCarthy: "Graham not backing off a step. She's willing to bang with Leelee."
O'Dell: "And she's having some success doing it. Sobieski having a bit more, though. A bit busier. A bit more accurate. And that looks to be the difference as the second comes to an end."
McCarthy: "Agreed, Jenny. Competitive, but Leelee gets the round and the 20-18 lead."
O'Dell: "Into the third now and both women trying to impose will. Both working big left hands, looking to fit rights. Neither backing up a step...AND DOWN GOES SOBIESKI! OHH! A HUGE RIGHT HAND FROM GRAHAM!"
McCarthy: "That was a GREAT punch. Timed it perfectly off the left hand lead!"
O'Dell: "Referee picks up the count at three...four...Leelee up at five..."
McCarthy: "Dumb. Should have stayed down there the extra couple of seconds..."
O'Dell: "She takes the mandatory and here comes Lauren! Graham smelling upset, going to work. Banging away, driving Leelee backward, hooking head and body. Working for the finisher."
McCarthy: "This is how a good, veteran fighter does clean up. Nothing rushed. Nothing force. Do work and the big shot will come."
O'Dell: "Graham a big right hand! The blonde wobbled but stays up! Jabs back, but Graham shuts her down with a flurry! Lauren backs her into the ropes and goes to work downstairs! Sobieski covering up, tying up, trying to get out of this round..."
McCarthy: "Might not matter. Graham doing plenty of damage right now."
O'Dell: "A good left-right from Lauren! Leelee ties her up. Referee breaks. Bell! Round three is over and Graham's tied this thing up with a big round!"
O'Dell: "Sobieski a shambles on her stool right now. Britney and Neve working with her, the former with the ice on the neck, the latter with some words in the ear, and, from Ms. Campbell's expression, they're pretty stern ones."
McCarthy: "I TOLD you she was overrated!"
O'Dell: "And we're ready to go for the fourth, and Graham looking to finish, lands a hard right. And Sobieski bangs right back with a flurry of her own. Graham another good shot, and Leelee answers again!"
Tess: "Hammer and tongs!"
O'Dell: "And neither girl backing up a step! Lauren letting the hands go, but Sobieski answering right back. Leelee banging that big left home. Will not back down."
Tess: "As we've seen in previous fights, you don't want to get into a contest of wills with Leelee, because you are NOT going to win!"
O'Dell: "And Lauren's finding that out as Leelee backs her up with some big shots. Lauren not punking, either, rips a flurry of her own home, but it's Leelee getting the better of things, landing two more heavy shots at the bell."
Tess: "I know you don't like her, Mac, but that was one heck of a comeback round for Sobieski..."
McCarthy: "I'm NOTHING if not fair, Walmart, and you're right. And it's put her back in the lead, 38-37."
O'Dell: "We're into the fifth now, in what's been an action-packed fight, and Sobieski's got the jab working now, stopping Graham's movement with it, setting her up for follow up rights...LIKE THAT ONE AND DOWN GOES LAUREN! BIG STRAIGHT RIGHT SENDS GRAHAM TO HER BACK!"
McCarthy: "You called it, Jenny, set up by the left hand."
O'Dell: "Lauren up at seven. Takes the mandatory, and Leelee now looking to end this thing...and EATS A PRETTY LEFT-RIGHT! Graham doing it again off the deck! Firing away, backing Sobieski up, hooking the body, pre-empting the blonde."
McCarthy: "This time it isn't about Leelee. This is all Graham, rallying. All guts and pride!"
O'Dell: "Sobieski trying to get back to work with that left hand, but Lauren's getting too much done, controlling tempo, forcing the blonde to play defense as the bell rings."
McCarthy: "Still Sobieski's round, but another fight back to a 10-9. I've got it 48-46 now."
O'Dell: "Into the sixth now, and we haven't wanted for action so far, Mac."
McCarthy: "Sobieski's won four of the five rounds, but Graham's had more than a few moments of her own. Leelee's had the advantage in set pieces, but when things have devolved into brawling, Lauren's taken control."
O'Dell: "And Leelee's taken note of that and she's back to working behind that big, long left jab. Stopping Graham's movement with it, putting her in range of...BIG RIGHT HAND, LEELEE! LAUREN GOBSMACKED! STUMBLES BACKWARD...STAGGERED BY A LEFT HOOK...RIGHT HAND SNAPS BACK THE HEAD AND DOWN SHE GOES!"
McCarthy: "What a shot that last one was!"
Tess: "Referee can count all night..."
O'Dell: "But he won't. He'll stop when he gets to ten...and he HAS, with Graham still flat on her back! It's over! The winner by KO6 is 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"
McCarthy: "Let's check the replay on the knockout. Good left jab and here's the big right hand follow...BAM! Side of the head. Graham wobbles and Sobieski lands the left hook to the cheek, and then here it comes...BOOM! Right on the chin. Awesome right hand and Lauren's done for the night."
O'Dell: "Graham earned some respect, though, and she's getting it. Sobieski to the corner to check on the brunette beauty and..."
McCarthy: "OH, FOR...doesn't anybody HATE anybody around here anymore?"
Tess: "I'd forgotten how much Mac hates the post-fight hug..."
O'Dell: "I'm guessing we won't be seeing one of those after she fights Beckinsale."
O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore."
Tess: "I'm with our winner, Leelee Sobieski, and, Leelee, you had a gut check in that third round..."
Leelee: "I did just what I said I wouldn't do. I underestimated her. I knocked her down with my first punch and got myself thinking this was going to be a quick night, and it cost me. But I wasn't giving in to her. If she wanted this fight, she was going to have to take it. And I wasn't letting that happen."
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