"Sure, I'm a huge underdog," says Lauren, green eyes shining. "But it's all based on one fight. I had some butterflies and I got caught in my first FCBA fight. But, I'm a LOT better than that, and what better way to prove it than to take Grace to the woodshed like I did when we sparred on the 'Five-O' set."
"Oh, I know ALL about Lauren," says a smiling Grace. "I'm not getting fooled by her fight against Montgomery. She's waaaay better than that. I've been in the ring with her enough to know. But I've also worked with her enough to know something ELSE. She's good. But she's not good ENOUGH."
O'Dell: "Back to ringside and you hear the familiar strains of 'Green Eyed Lady' by Sugarloaf and here comes the Green Eyed Lady herself, Lauren German!"
McCarthy: "German CAN'T be any good losing to Montgomery!"
Tess: "Can I hit 'rewind' for a second?"
McCarthy: "Don't START with me, Walmart!"
Tess: "YOU lost to Montgomery!"
McCarthy: "She got LUCKY. And then I kicked her a** in the rematch!"
O'Dell: "German into the ring, helped off with the robe. Looking good in a gray two piece...and that's The Ventures and 'Hawaii Five-O' you hear and that can only mean the star of the show, Grace Park, is on her way to the ring!"
McCarthy: "Star? Park?"
Tess: "That's right. And of a show on CBS. YOU couldn't get a show on CNBC..."
McCarthy: "Why would I want a show on the Canadian National Broadcasting Company?"
Tess: "YouTube, here we come!"
O'Dell: "If we keep this up, we'll fill up the entire internet. Park into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal a medium blue bikini..."
McCarthy: "This girl is too SKINNY to be wearing bikinis!"
O'Dell: "Well, she's not to skinny to have been picked to win by Tess. What do you think, Mac?"
McCarthy: "Park's nothing special. Not in MY league, and I proved it. But she's got to be favored against German. She's been known to spit the bit, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if she gets upset."
O'Dell: "Let's find out. There's the bell for round one and the ladies getting right to business. Grace popping out that left, Lauren answering with her own jab, ducks a right hand, landed a good counter..."
McCarthy: "Well, we no Park isn't as good as Montgomery, because right about this time of German's fight against Poppy, they were scraping Lauren off the mat..."
O'Dell: "Not looking like happening here, as German using the slicks and the quicks to get the better of her exchanges with Grace. Park landing some, too, but German slipping and blocking more leather that Grace is managing to get home."
McCarthy: "I TOLD you Park was overrated. She chokes more often than a frat boy trying to get that SWILL The Weirdo drinks down his throat..."
O'Dell: "I'll thank you NOT to snark on one of the sponsors of Boxing At The Asylum. They DO help pay your salary. And, speaking of boxing, that's exactly what Lauren's getting done as the bell rings for the first, and German's got the early lead."
McCarthy: "She's also actually FINISHED A ROUND for the first time in her FCBA career. Maybe they'll open a cold PBR in the corner and pour it over her head in celebration!"
Tess: "I think you're underrating German, Mac. One first round KO doesn't mean she can't fight."
O'Dell: "Back to action in the second, and Park squaring up German and going body..."
McCarthy: "Good tactic, because NEITHER of these two HAVE a body..."
O'Dell: "German not punking, standing in front of Grace and firing right back. Both ladies getting off, landing solid stuff."
Tess: "German punching for respect here..."
McCarthy: "That kind of strategy can be taken too far, though. She doesn't want to just keep mixing it up with Park."
Tess: "Says the woman who did that with Bridget Regan!"
McCarthy: "That was DIFFERENT. It was a BAR fight..."
O'Dell: "Well, this ISN'T, but it looks like one right now as neither woman will give an inch. They've trading shots from bell to bell, and there's a little shove from German AFTER the bell. She won't punk, but it's clear who won the round..."
Tess: "And it isn't Lauren. 19-19 after two."
O'Dell: "Third round underway and the ladies right back at it! Park in German's face and Lauren refusing to back up a step!"
McCarthy: "I'm all for not backing down, but she's fighting Grace's fight. Dumb."
Tess: "Says the woman who did that for TEN ROUNDS against Neve Campbell."
McCarthy: "I WASN'T fighting HER fight! I was fighting MINE."
Tess: "And that somehow resulted in her winning ALL TEN ROUNDS..."
McCarthy: "She DID NOT win...SHUT UP, WALMART!"
O'Dell: "You really SHOULD work some kind of royalty dead with the liquor companies, Tess. And speaking of work, both Park and German getting PLENTY done, ferocious back and forth exchanges! Both ladies landing heavy to the head and body. Grace having the better of things, but Lauren holding her own."
Tess: "I think German's punching for more than just Grace's respect, Jenny. She's trying to exorcise the ghosts of that Montgomery fight."
O'Dell: "Well she's EARNING some respect right now, thumping away at Park's body as Grace rips a combination of her own to the head. STILL slugging it out at the bell!"
Tess: "More shoving going on afterward. Referee getting between them to send them to their corners. Grace's round again, Mac?"
McCarthy: "Yeah. And she's up 29-28 through three."
O'Dell: "Fourth round has begun and the pattern is established. Park in German's face and Lauren right in Grace's. German with a nice combination, snapped back Park's head...AND DOWN GOES LAUREN! WICKED RIGHT HAND FROM GRACE AND GERMAN KNOCKED TO HER BACK!"
McCarthy: "Shouldn't have stood in front of her and traded..."
O'Dell: "German up at seven. Going to take the mandatory. Referee waives Park forward...and LAUREN LETS THE HANDS GO! German backing a surprised Park up with a hard flurry. German banging away, forcing Grace to the ropes, going body...and now PARK fires back! Wobbles German with a left-right! Backing up the blonde with a series of heavy shots to the head. Lauren on the defensive now, covering up as Grace goes to town!"
McCarthy: "Lot of leather landing this round..."
O'Dell: "And right now it's all being thrown by Park. Grace has Lauren at the ropes, working the body, snapping jabs into her face as the round comes to an end!"
McCarthy: "Big round for Park. Got a nice lead now, 39-36."
O'Dell: "Fifth round begins with ANOTHER heavy exchange! German lands a good right...AND PARK WOBBLES HER WITH A NASTY FLURRY! German staggered! Grace all in looking for the finisher! Lauren covering up, being ROCKED. Grace battering her backward into the ropes. German trying to clinch. Park punching free, working body, back upstairs with a hard right! German wobbles...DOWN SHE GOES after another right hand from Park!"
McCarthy: "German back to her hands and knees. She's going to beat it, Jenny!"
O'Dell: "She DOES. Up at eight and takes the mandatory. Referee going to let it go on. Park moving in. German back against the ropes, covering up. Grace banging at her guard, Lauren counters with a nice combination."
McCarthy: "Not a bad idea for German. She can't trust the legs right now, so try to get out of the round by playing defense and counter punching."
O'Dell: "And she's doing both effectively. Grace still landing, but German blocking and dodging a lot of the leather and landing some of her own."
McCarthy: "I'm gonna say this. German's got guts. Up off the canvas fighting twice."
O'Dell: "And she's doing it right to the bell. And those green eyes have a defiant glare for Grace. You may have put me down, but you couldn't stop me."
McCarthy: "I'm getting the feeling this is more than a little personal."
O'Dell: "The second half of this fight is underway, and German back to doing some boxing now, Mac..."
McCarthy: "Probably too late now. I've got her down five points. She'd have to pitch a shutout or get some knockdowns just to force OT."
O'Dell: "Well, the judges have had the night off tonight. Five straight stoppages. Never had an Asylum card with no fights going the distance. German stopping, popping. Moving again. Using those quicks to stay out of Park's gunsights. Grace pressuring. Trying to square up...OHH, DID SHE EVER! PARK FLATTENS GERMAN WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT!"
McCarthy: "If this were a cartoon, little birds would be flying in a circle above Lauren's head."
O'Dell: "German flat on her back. Looking up at the count with those big green eyes, but not really seeing it. Eight. Nine. Ten. It's over! The winner by KO6, 'The Korean Krusher', Grace Park!"
McCarthy: "Check the MacStrator..."
Tess: "The WHAT?"
McCarthy: "Shut. It. Walmart. Now, check the MacStrator and let's see that last punch. Watch German wants to circle right. Park feints a left and Lauren STOPS. BOOM. There's the right hand right on the BUTTON."
O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I've got our winner, Grace Park, and, Grace, that looked a little personal out there..."
Grace: "You know, Tess, sometimes this stuff is simple. Sometimes it's not ABOUT rankings and title shots. Sometimes it's just about wanting to kick someone's a**. Tonight was one of those times. And Lauren's was tops on my list of a**es."
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