The ladies enter behind the Man In The Hat. He sits down in the middle of the dais and motions for Ke$ha to sit on his left. Jewel moves to sit on his right, but Brooklyn Decker grabs the chair.
Man In The Hat: "Sit next to Ke$ha, Brooke."
Decker shoots him a look and Jewel quickly says, "It's fine, Wiz. I'll sit on the end."
Man In The Hat: "You will NOT. You will sit next to me. Sit next to Ke$ha, Brooke."
Decker stomps over to the seat next to Ke$ha and sits down. When they're all seated, to the Man In The Hat's left are
Ke$ha, Decker, Ruah, Sobieski, and Avril Lavigne. To his right sit Jewel, Grace Park, Britney Spears, Neve Campbell and Pink.
Man In The Hat: "All right. I'll take questions. Cable Boy! Go!"
HBO Reporter: "I know better than to ask if you're disappointed in Ke$ha, so what's your thinking on the fight?"
Man In The Hat: "This is a step in the kid's development is all. This is the kind of stuff developin' fighters go through. She didn't fight well tonight. A more experienced kid caused her problems. It happens. She'll learn from it and be better for it. Gang, physically, this kid is awesome. She's big. She's strong. She's athletic as hell. And she can HIT. She has as many physical tools as anyone in the FCBA. Period. But. She's raw. She's still got a lot to learn. She'll learn. And when she does, look out. All right. Cable Boy II, let's hear it."
Showtime Reporter: "There's been a lot of talk about it being time for Jewel to retire. What happened tonight isn't going to quiet any of that..."
Jewel: "Want me to take that one, Wiz?"
Man In The Hat: "I do NOT. Son, there are two types of fighters in the FCBA. The ones that get TOLD to retire..."
Snark Magazine Reporter: "You mean like Avril?"
Avril: "Good luck getting credentials for the next card, smarta**! Tickets sell out quickly. You'd better buy early."
Man In The Hat(smiling): "ANYway. There are also the ones that have EARNED the right to decide on their OWN when to retire. Jewel is in THAT group. She will not be asked to retire. She will not be PUSHED to retire. She will not be FORCED to retire. When she feels the time is right, SHE will make that decision. No one else up here. And sure as hell not YOU. Now, Tess, you have a question?"
Tess: "That was a great main event between Grace and German..."
Man In The Hat(smiling): "Wasn't it, though? And it was a big win for Gracie, too, comin' off that tough one against Cummings. What you saw out there was how good Grace can be. She's quick, tough, tall, physical. A tough out for even the top bantams..."
Neve: Just ask the current champ. Because she fought Grace not too long ago. And came out on the short end."
Man In The Hat: "Rumor has it Neve and Rachel don't get along. I'll have to do some research to find out if that's true..."
Man In The Hat: "But, I digress. Gracie was awesome tonight. In fact, I'd say she had the look of a contender. Which, of course, is exactly what we're lookin' for in our evaluations. Smackey! Take us home!"
Reporter: "Your three welters all looked pretty good tonight..."
Man In The Hat(smiling): "I'm going to have to agree with you."
Man In The Hat: "Stand up, ladies. Brooke. Dani. Leelee. See, Brooke? There's a method to Old Wiz's madness. Now, gang, you know Pointy's got himself some good welters, like Bloodgood and, of course, Bridgy Regs. And Franchise has the blonde trio of Diaz, Heigl and Kiebler. And Tech has Liz B., and if Tech has a fighter, she's DANGEROUS. And, of course, Bonzo has Big Rig and plenty of good welter talent around her. And, of course, The Lioness Club has Cassidy Freeman. And FRONT STREET has those three ladies you see standing there. Brooklyn Decker. Daniela Ruah. And Leelee Sobieski. And, before you ask, Brooke and Dani are also going to fight light. That hasn't changed. But, I'm TELLIN' you that they are a BIG part of the future of the welterweight division. A division WE, and by WE, I mean Front Street and the other stables I mentioned, are going to revitalize..."
Snark Magazine Reporter(shouting from the back): "How can Front Street help revitalize the division if you won't fight the champion?"
Man In The Hat: "Does she get to be champion FOREVER, genius, or, when she loses, does someone ELSE get the belt? Just like we did with Cuthbert, we'll simply bide our time. In the MEAN time, we WILL revitalize the division. There are PLENTY of good welters around. And you are LOOKIN' at three of 'em. Now, we're outta here. Tess. Smackey. Limo!"
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