Posted by Boxing World Online on 4/15/2012, 10:06 am
Our reporter enters Front Street to find, as usual early on a Sunday morning, the place nearly empty, with the ladies all out doing roadwork. In evidence, again, as usual, are Avril, Rufus, and the Man In The Hat.
Man In The Hat: "Well, look who's here! Pid! And you look at least somewhat rested..."
Reporter: "That's because I got more than two hours of sleep, since I wasn't covering one of your late night Asylum cards. Speaking of which..."
Avril: "Nothing to confirm. Nothing to confirm. Except. That we've been in negotiations with stables for the next two cards...and we have handshake agreements..."
Reporter: "Wait. You have agreements two months out?"
Avril(smiling): "Asylum's become pretty popular. It will never rival the pay-per-views of course, but it's kind of become the second-biggest regular FCBA event. Folks want to get on the train. And we WANT them on it."
Reporter: "Looks like I.F.F.I.'s got a card of their own in the making. Bringing Lookout! in..."
Man In The Hat: "Well, you might remember that one of the first things WE did when we were getting Asylum off the ground was call Paris. The folks at IFFI aren't dumb. The know how much talent Lookout! has under contract. Not just girls who can fight. Not just girls that are SMOKING hot. Girls who can put butts in seats. IFFI's got some good fights planned. Paris has invited me. I plan to attend."
Reporter(turning to Avril): "Any hints as to which stables might be coming on future Asylum cards? I know LCA will be on the next card..."
Avril: "Let's just say they're big names. But, that's all we're going to say for now. Let's concentrate on the pay-per-view."
Reporter: "I hear Neve's temporarily given up her training responsibilities..."
Man In The Hat: "Correct. Jewel, Pinkness, Mariska, and Brit are picking up the slack."
Reporter: "I also hear that Jewel might be devoting ALL her time to training soon..."
Man In The Hat: "Pay no attention to those rumors. We haven't had a single discussion about any of that. We're concentrating on getting our girls ready for the pay-per-view right now."
Reporter: "Ok. We've talked about your girls' fights on the pay-per-view. Let's talk about some others. Go ahead and take your shot at Theron for not defending the belts..."
Man In The Hat: "Nope. Won't hear that from ME. The Academy MADE CHALLENGES. Theron was willing to defend. Not their fault no one took them up on it. Can't make somebody fight you. All you can do is make the offer, and The Academy did. I got my issues with Theron, as you know. I still got a six million dollar bounty on her head. But, far as I can tell, she ain't ever DUCKED anyone, save maybe McCarthy, and she ain't startin' now. Besides, she was decent to my kid K-Stew on the set of their movie. So, yeah, it's still six million to the first girl that knocks her block off, but let's be fair to the woman. She'll be a fighting champion. Always has been."
Reporter: "What other fights are you looking forward to?"
Man In The Hat: "Tisdale/Carter is very interesting. Ashley's been awesome of late. She's more than proven she belongs in the top tier of flyweights. Starchin' Danes and Portman in two rounds each? Like I said, awesome. But Carter is as nasty as it gets. She'll do anything she can to get Ashley in trouble. And, if she does...well. These title fights are crap shoots, Boris. Anything can happen. UNlike Beckinsale/McCarthy. Only ONE thing gonna happen there. A victory for K-Becks. Which is gonna cost McCarthy a cool million."
Reporter: "I hear rumors that there might be a special Beckinsale/Biel fight in connection with 'Total Recall'."
Man In The Hat: "Well, I like Kate and all. But, as you might remember, I had Jesse in this gym for a while. And, I will say again that she has the best total package of talent of anyone in the entire FCBA. There's NOTHING that girl can't do. You step in the ring with her, you're gonna need to be just about perfect, because she's got a lot more arrows in the quiver than you do. And if she's brought the 'A' game? Doesn't matter WHAT you do. Because she is THAT good."
Reporter: "What else are you looking forward to?"
Man In The Hat: "Well, I'm tryin' ta check and see if Peregrym/Hathaway is a hair vs. hair match, because, if it is, Anne's done a pre-emptive strike. Either that or she lost a bet. Because she looks like she's about two weeks into boot camp. Freeman and Bjorlin is a big fight. Both girls figure into the revitalization of the welterweight division. Garner/Lawrence is the classic crafty veteran vs. talented up-and-comer. Lawrence is on fast-forward right now. A win here and she's gonna be flirtin' with the Top 20. But Garner CAN slow that train down. Count on it. I ain't puttin' money on THAT one either way. Hudgens needs to beat Hemmens. She's been fallin' further and further out of the flyweight discussion lately. But a win for Heather is instant legitimacy for a girl who has a very nice physical package. Kelly/Hewitt I'd watch if neither of 'em could fight a lick. It don't GET much hotter than those two goin' at it. And, of course, Palicki and Helfer...and you're lucky I don't make you pay royalties for stealin' my 'Palicki Boom Boom Down' line..."
Reporter: "You're lucky Snow doesn't sue YOU for ripping off HIS line..."
Man In The Hat: "Right now, I'm pretty sure he's happy about any publicity he can get. Now, aren't you late for church?"
Reporter: "Just about...what's the bet going to be next season?"
Man In The Hat: "Funny you should ask. I was just discussin' that with CASSIE yesterday..."
Reporter: "Be an accountant, Mother said. But, nooooooo..."
Man In The Hat: "Careful. You don't want a 'cease and desist order from John Belushi's estate..."
Message Thread
« Back to index