Posted by Scottish on 8/5/2002, 8:21 am You asked me if I had even loved you when we were together, and I asked you how could you ever think such a thing. I did and do still love you, and it is still the same love. But that love is not what I thought it once was. You said that I used you, and could not have been further from the truth. The only thing I have left to justify my actions is that I followed my heart with a good deal of advice from my soul. This is where it led me. I won't be sorry for the things that happen. I gave you this poem once before, but I don't think it has the same meaning for you as it does now. Reread it, maybe somethings I've been trying to tell you will sink in. What do you do when all you have left is bitterness The world is dark And sweet that in the dark that would hold close pain to move And when bitterness and broken signs face you down Always,
Things had to be said.
You have everyone to talk too, why do you think this is called a community? No one is excluded. Not even those who would hate.
I'm going to tell you what mom said to sunnie: "The only person who can help you right now is yourself. Then can we step in. But you have to help yourself frist, take the first steps towards getting better, then we can come in to help you." I told you that not as advice, but just for thought.
No regrets.
Darkened World
When you are left with all the hurts form the world
To hold close to your breast and weep
Where do you go from there
When the road is vacant and all the signs have broken
How long that road should seem when no one will walk with you
So hold your anger close
And cling to your hatred
It is the only thing that you have left for now
The only thing you have to move on
Because you do not remember
The world is dark, because all you are willing to see in pain
Is the wrongs done to you by others
You do not remember what is was like
To thrive during love
But you wanted it like an addiction
For every time that you were left
To die bleeding on that road
You would crave more
For the sweetest addiction is that which causes the most pain
And the most harming emotion is love
From which pain would take its roots
That would make sorrow the driving force
But be thrift that you would not miss the light
In your haste to escape hurt
Move for the preservation of your soul
Then wait and watch for your freedom
Freedom of that which you have made your home
So pray that you would not be so singular on your track
That you would miss the light
And continue on carrying your unnecessary burden alone
I hope that we may some day be able to find common ground again.
With parting words of thought: Illusions will only hurt you more in the long run. The walls you build to hold back the pain and anger will become increasingly thinner, until they break. Take mercy on those who would be near you in that time. Since you probably wont take what I say to your heart, I have no fear of saying it: Pain and hate may move you through life, but in the end, what are you left with?
Everyone is here for you, that's why we are a community. Don't kill yourself. And when you wake up to face yourself in the mirror each morning, make sure that you think, 'I survived', instead of 'I have to suffer through another day'.
Scottish
Message Thread:
« Back to thread