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Posted by Kate on 11/21/2008, 7:23 am, in reply to "the Further Misadventures of Kate"
I managed to make it through my teen years...well, mostly. Life pretty much fell apart when I was 18. The story is too long, but the summary is my best friend wrecked my car (with me in it); I had no place to stay and was crashing on friends' couches; I was abusing drugs and alcohol; I got very sick (severe bronchitis) and dropped out of college; I lost my job; I was so sick that a Navy recruiter nicely told me to come back when I wasn't sick and then we could talk (no, I never did join); I was in a really bad relationship with a 36 year old man (yep, old enough to be my dad...go figure); and I got pregnant (yes, I was using birth control -- and yes, sometimes it doesn't work). And this was an important turning point for me.
I called the guy...not wanting marriage (crikey, certainly not with him!), not wanting money...just wanting an apology. An acknowledgment that he had a part in further fscking up my already fscked up life.
His response to me, and I quote: "Well, lotsa luck, kid."
So, I had an abortion. Entirely my decision, my choice -- and at the time, it certainly seemed like the only reasonable course of action. I will spare you the gory details. I will tell you that it was not easy and painless. And I was totally unprepared for my emotional reaction afterward. I went on a drug and alcohol binge that lasted about two months -- became a blackout drunk, losing every weekend from Thursday night until Sunday afternoon, when I would wake up and wonder where I was, how to get home...and exactly where I could call "home".
Not surprising, I ended up pregnant again, only this time I had no idea who the father was. Oh joy.
So, the day I lost my job...I was pregnant, horribly sick, leaving with my last paycheck (in a rental car, since insurance hadn't paid off the car my best friend wrecked yet).
Some guys were driving home from work in their truck, when it had suddenly stopped for no reason right by that parking lot. They thought it was out of gas, but it wasn't. Within minutes after their truck mysteriously broke down, I was pulling out of the parking lot and a speeding motorcyclist hit my rental car. Thank God he was ok (he actually was very nice and accepted total responsibility for the accident). The guys in the truck they took the motorcyclist to the hospital to get stitches in his knee (his only injury) -- yes, their truck started right up, there was nothing wrong with it at all.
After the cop came and took information, I stood there, surveying the wreck and the wreck of my 18 year old life. One of the guys from the truck had stayed behind with me. He was a nice young man, kind hearted, a musician...
...and he had been planning to go home from work that day and kill himself.
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