Lyra seems a bit too ignorant of social mores. She shouldn't know how to deal with men except in battle and should likely consider violence a first resort but she should be aware that underwear aren't for public display.
Why are Jen and Lyra's outfits suddenly so short? The cover and Jen's appearance in Incredible Hulks suggest it should be almost knee length but on these pages they're entering hotpants territory.
Other than these minor concerns I haven't seen anything that would render it unreadable tripe.
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