I have read many books, very good ones, they say it may take years as it did for me with my Mom before one day you realize you did not cry for a week, it just happened and was better after that. It was a few years for me.
It seems I thought in the back of my mind if I cried enough God could bring her back. It was a secret hope, or turn back time somehow.
This site was a Godsend for me, also I watched GOD.TV which I cannot get now...the Christian rock music, the wonderful young people saying ASK GOD FOR HELP, people like Joyce Meyer...got me through.
I too have probably not accepted it either but I do not push myself to do that as HE IS ALIVE, just not here physically so I DO NOT HAVE TO..
It is ok to handle it whatever way you can, and you have done great and are very strong.
We will see them again, Thanks to God, without that we would really fee awful.
Huggs and Prayers to you, Pam
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