Please read, "Embraced by the Light" by Betty Eadie. It will help you to see what Heaven is like for your mother and how awesome it is for her!!! After you read this book, everytime the sad thoughts of her last days start to enter your mind, then you will be able to close your eyes and imagine your mother's spirit being taken from her body by her most loving angels and going right to Heaven and to God and Jesus. You will see and feel a little bit of the joy and wonderment your mother felt as she felt perfect and unconditional love!!!
You will walk with her exploring beautiful gardens, mountains, majestic buildings and other amazing universes--all the while in perfect health and surrounded by love and God.
I think this book will help your mind to be in the present place where your mother is now and not stuck in the past. The past days of suffering for her are in a time zone that no longer exists for your mother! So don't let it exist for you!
Celebrate with your mother the wonderful Paradise she is in now and live it with you by holding her hand and imagine being with her there!!! She will love this and so will you!
Remember to pray to God every time you start to feel sad and ask Him to replace your heart's sorrow with His joy.
Then start thinking of fun things you can do! Your mother is having fun and the only thing that makes her sad is seeing you so sad all the time! Can you play try to have fun and invite your mother along with you to have fun with you at whatever activities you are doing? If you can, this will bring a lot of joy to your heart and to hers.
You are in my prayers.
God bless you,
Lovingly,
In Christ's Love,
Chris
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