I am overwhelmed by my losses. First my father, in February 2012, then my husband in May 2012, and later, my son's best friend, followed by two of my best friends in 2013. Recently our family's 15-year-old dog passed away and I had to make the difficult decision to allow the vet to do this, and now, my 21-year-old cat disappeared, having gotten out last Tuesday. I know that all but the cat are o.k., but I find myself in prolonged grief. I am following the 'fake it till you make it' motto, and doing things for everyone all the time, praying and engaging with the world, but inside, I am looking forward to joining my loved ones, and my world is dark and empty, and it doesn't feel right that I should be here without my husband. In my dreams, we are living parallel lives together. I wake up, and this life does not feel right. I have had many ADCs and I am working toward opening up further. I recently left my body and saw the block where my cat was. I worry that he is not in a good place right now, and I am filled with anxiety, on top of everything else. Christine, thank you for all the wonderful work you do!
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