Posted by rick on May 21, 2002, 8:40 am i am 30 now, and remember my childhood of various phases of being bullied. i was raised in a house where we were taught that fighting is wrong. my parents taught me very healthy values like that. i was picked on just about every day in elementary school by this kind named Lyle (geez, 25 years later, i still remmeber his name). i remember going home one day crying from being picked on, and my mom made me tell my dad about it when he got home from work, which was very embarassing. when i told my dad how bad it was, i was shocked when he replied "well, then punch him if theres no other way to make him stop". i went to school the next day and told Lyle that my dad said i was allowed to hit him. of course this illicited laughter from him and his friends and he told me to meet him in the bathroom afterschool for a fight. so i did. by the time school ended, about 100 kids showed up. lyle arrogantly said, "come on, you're dad says you're allowed to hit me, right?". so i did. i cocked back, slammed him in the nose, sent him flying in to the back of the wall of the bathroom, made him hit his head on the wall, and he landed there confused with a bloody nose. i should have acted triumphantly, but i dont know who was more scared, me or him. i thought his friends would all jump me, so i ran. i ran all the way home. no one ever picked on me ever again in that school. i dont advocate fighting, i really dont. but the fact that i was willing to stand up for myself showed people that i was not going to let them do that to me. i changed schools a few years later and moved to australia. i faced a lot of bitter creulty from a racism against americans. the teasing extended beyond name calling, and was physical at some points. during one afternoon, some of the bigger kids were playing handball with a tennis ball when it landed in some dirty water. the biggest kid said, "hey, lets dry it off on the yank" and threw the ball at me so hard it stung. he expected me to be submissive as i had been for months. instead i waited for him to walk over, then i grabbed the ball and with all my might whipped it back at him. he was so angry that he put his hands on my shoulders, pushed me to the ground and said that if i ever did anything like that again, he'd kill me. as he was walking away, i ran up behind him and tried to push him down, telling him i wasnt going to take his bullying. he was twice my size and didnt go down, but he did stumble, and did get very angry. he turned around, came at me, grabbed me by the neck and started punching me in the face. i could only punch his leg as he had me held tightly with his arm. he hit me until i bled and then i dropped. yeah, it hurt. i didn't go to a teacher, i simply went to the bathroom and nursed myself. i was never picked on by them again. i was never invited to join their group of friends, but i had my own and that was ok. as much as it hurt to get punched, i had stood up for my self respect, and showed them that i was not going to allow them to do that. let me re-state that i dont advocate fighting. not at all. i dont even think that what i did would work in all situations. but i will tell you this. i am not a big guy, in fact, a little scrawny. but there is something to be said for standing up for your self. and to do that, you dont need a weapon of any sort. you need an assertive voice and real self confidence. the chances are that you are such a superior person to the person picking on you, that you should feel like you have self confidence. remember, the bully has lower self confidence than you, and uses his or her bulliness to hide behind. they are more insecure than you think. if you challenge them on that, and it leads to a fight, and afterwards, you're willing to leave it alone, they will be too. they've been able to convince everyone of their dominance if they win, and they do not want to risk being re-challenged, because of their own self doubt. just always remember, you are a way better person than they are.
hi-
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