Posted by Sam Honeycutt
on June 10, 2002, 12:46 pm
Oh the messages that I have read here really hit home.
Great b.b.
LOL
SAM
--Previous Message--
: hi-
: i am 30 now, and remember my childhood of
: various phases of being bullied.
: i was raised in a house where we were taught
: that fighting is wrong. my parents taught
: me very healthy values like that.
: i was picked on just about every day in
: elementary school by this kind named Lyle
: (geez, 25 years later, i still remmeber
: his name). i remember going home one day
: crying from being picked on, and my mom
: made me tell my dad about it when he got
: home from work, which was very
: embarassing. when i told my dad how bad
: it was, i was shocked when he replied
: "well, then punch him if theres no
: other way to make him stop". i went
: to school the next day and told Lyle that
: my dad said i was allowed to hit him. of
: course this illicited laughter from him
: and his friends and he told me to meet him
: in the bathroom afterschool for a fight.
: so i did. by the time school ended, about
: 100 kids showed up. lyle arrogantly said,
: "come on, you're dad says you're
: allowed to hit me, right?". so i
: did. i cocked back, slammed him in the
: nose, sent him flying in to the back of
: the wall of the bathroom, made him hit his
: head on the wall, and he landed there
: confused with a bloody nose. i should
: have acted triumphantly, but i dont know
: who was more scared, me or him. i
: thought his friends would all jump me, so
: i ran. i ran all the way home.
: no one ever picked on me ever again in that
: school.
: i dont advocate fighting, i really dont. but
: the fact that i was willing to stand up
: for myself showed people that i was not
: going to let them do that to me.
: i changed schools a few years later and moved
: to australia. i faced a lot of bitter
: creulty from a racism against americans.
: the teasing extended beyond name calling,
: and was physical at some points.
: during one afternoon, some of the bigger kids
: were playing handball with a tennis ball
: when it landed in some dirty water. the
: biggest kid said, "hey, lets dry it
: off on the yank" and threw the ball
: at me so hard it stung. he expected me
: to be submissive as i had been for months.
: instead i waited for him to walk over,
: then i grabbed the ball and with all my
: might whipped it back at him. he was so
: angry that he put his hands on my
: shoulders, pushed me to the ground and
: said that if i ever did anything like that
: again, he'd kill me. as he was walking
: away, i ran up behind him and tried to
: push him down, telling him i wasnt going
: to take his bullying. he was twice my
: size and didnt go down, but he did
: stumble, and did get very angry. he
: turned around, came at me, grabbed me by
: the neck and started punching me in the
: face. i could only punch his leg as he
: had me held tightly with his arm. he hit
: me until i bled and then i dropped. yeah,
: it hurt. i didn't go to a teacher, i
: simply went to the bathroom and nursed
: myself.
: i was never picked on by them again. i was
: never invited to join their group of
: friends, but i had my own and that was ok.
: as much as it hurt to get punched, i had
: stood up for my self respect, and showed
: them that i was not going to allow them to
: do that.
: let me re-state that i dont advocate
: fighting. not at all. i dont even think
: that what i did would work in all
: situations. but i will tell you this. i
: am not a big guy, in fact, a little
: scrawny. but there is something to be
: said for standing up for your self. and
: to do that, you dont need a weapon of any
: sort. you need an assertive voice and
: real self confidence. the chances are
: that you are such a superior person to the
: person picking on you, that you should
: feel like you have self confidence.
: remember, the bully has lower self
: confidence than you, and uses his or her
: bulliness to hide behind. they are more
: insecure than you think. if you
: challenge them on that, and it leads to a
: fight, and afterwards, you're willing to
: leave it alone, they will be too.
: they've been able to convince everyone of
: their dominance if they win, and they do
: not want to risk being re-challenged,
: because of their own self doubt.
: just always remember, you are a way better
: person than they are.
:
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