Posted by Jamie Nice to hear from you as always. These clubs really blow my mind. What an incredible forum. Life can be so very painful and lonely, but with the help of a kind and gentle ear, pain can be turned into gain. I'm really getting to the bottom my lots of my "stuff" many years after the fact, which, even though it sucks, is sure better than never. From the bottom of my heart I hope that something we say might help someone going thru it NOW. I've known for a long time that lots of negative stuff from my "bullied days" continued to play a big part in my probs and insecurities, but I didn't realize until very recently that most all of it went back to the nun I wrote about. It's like she implanted a chip in me that kept on saying "you're no good. You don't deserve to feel good, etc.," things she said in real life many times in many ways. And the chip has kept me saying them to myself, but now that I KNOW about the implant, and where all this stuff has been coming from, I can FINALLY exorcise the b###h once and for all. Without the implant telling me I can't do it, don't deserve to do it, I feel like I'm calling the shots (at last), and it is getting Very exciting! It's kind of interesting that the thing that triggered these 'revelations' is the recent upheaval in the Church. I listened to interviews with the (now adult) victims, being asked such things as "why didn't you TELL someone??" When they said they couldn't because it was the Church, it was a priest (nun), no one would believe them, it would've made things much worse for them ... Man, I started to cry. I realized that what I went through was basically the same, and the effects just as long-lasting. I found it really hard listening to them articulating their pain -- I don't want ANYONE to have to suffer like that -- but in a way it validated my own feelings, which has been difficult for me (the implant again). But learning, growing, and overcoming is every bit as sweet as the pain was terrible. It feels VERY good to share all this stuff, Craig. God bless you, man. Hugs+,Jamie --Previous Message--
on July 7, 2002, 12:00 pm
Hey, Craig!
: Hi Jamie!! 
: Thank for posting your message. I really
: enjoyed reading it. [as I do ANY truly
: honest and heartfelt message!!]
: Sorry about what you went through. You
: certainly didn't deserve ANY of that
: abuse. It's especially sad - I think -
: that much of the abuse came FROM someone
: who would [most likely] consider herself
: to be the 'bride of Christ'. Poor God ...
: one can only imagine how heartbreaking it
: is for HIM to know that someone down here
: on earth is abusing others in HIS NAME.
: I can appreciate what you mean when you said
: that the 'Sister' lived on in your brain.
: My dad has been dead almost 9 years and
: I'm STILL trying to find the 'right words'
: to make HIM happy.
: Take care of yourself, Jamie.
: GREAT BIG HUG!!
: Craig!!
:
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