Posted by Passing Thru on August 24, 2002, 12:50 pm Also, I remember seeing two instances during my grade school days in which a bully went too far and got attacked back. In each case, the bully that got attacked never bothered that victim again. (Please remember, I'm talking about "child" bullies here.) Something else I know about bullies. They all have low self-esteem. Stands to reason, doesn't it? I mean, why else would someone have to depend on making somebody else look bad in order to make himself look good? It's sad when you think about it. I've wondered for years what kind of hell hole their home lives must have been! --Previous Message--
Simon, You express yourself well and made a # of interesting observations! In my opinion, you would have been better off if as a child a bully had jumped you. I have found that nothing hurts nearly as bad as our fear lets us imagine, and I believe that is what most bullies are counting on.
: : In my life, I didn't get beaten up as much as
: threatoned and just occasionally shoved
: around or elbowed in the ribs. I kinda
: wish I had been totally thrashed a few
: times. Why? Because in my mind, being
: punched and kicked is one of the worst
: thing I could imagine and I am afraid I
: could be killed, as I am a rather thin
: person. I have numerous friends who have
: told me bodies are more endurable than we
: think and that actually having it happen
: to you isn't so bad. That it's the
: humiliation and the power that is more
: damaging. If I had actually BEEN beaten
: up, I think I wouldn't be so paranoid
: about it now.
: One could say I was psychologically bullied
: in highschool, and I often wonder if that
: was worse than being physically beaten. It
: has made me a very fearful person
: throughout my adult life (I am 32 years
: old), and when I see how the fear has
: hindered my ability to reach out and take
: some chances and enjoy life, I become
: angry. Anger is so hard because, when we
: are violated, we have EVERY RIGHT to be
: angry...but how do we express it and get
: it out of our systems so we can move on
: with our lives? Sometimes the anger and
: fear make me feel like I am living with a
: kind of poison in my body. I don't know
: how to wash it out of my system so that I
: feel satisfied and somewhat empowered
: again...yet WITHOUT hurting others.
: My supervisor at work is an ornery little
: scotsman who never went more than six
: months without going to the hospital for
: getting into a fight when he was a
: teenager. He has picked fights with dudes
: he KNEW would beat the crap out of him. He
: says it's not just physical...there's a
: whole psychic phenomenon involved, that
: it's about your dignity. He says you don't
: go around with "Don't #### with me.
: I'll kick your ass" attitude...nor do
: you try the "Don't hurt me. What have
: I done to you? Leave me alone"
: approach either. He feels the best
: attitude is: "You got a problem with
: me? Fine. What are you going to do about
: it? Win or lose, I WILL NOT go down
: without a fight". That's the key
: point, he says. Don't start a fight, but
: if one gets started with you, don't back
: out, even if you know you'll get your ass
: kicked.
: I don't know if he's right. I know several
: drag queens who have had similar attitudes
: though. They've been harassed while
: walking down the street in drag, beaten to
: a bloody pulp, they crawl home, put
: themselves back together as best they can,
: then go right back out there. They won't
: let the violence terrorize them.
: I admire these kinds of people. I wish I had
: that kind of courage.
:
:
Message Thread:
« Back to thread