Posted by SpottedTiger It's so kool to see that you still visit here from time to time, "I sure do miss you!" (and I miss inviting you for some virtual ginseng tea if you'd visit my site too!)...btw I still check your site from time to time. And everytime I do, I'm always wishing that you'd put your wonderful stories back on line. Anyway feel free to email me sometime if you'd like to talk, it would nice to get some mail that wasn't junk mail. :P Take care of yourself, --Previous Message-- Link: SpottedTiger's MKoD
on 2/16/2005, 17:28:54, in reply to "Fyrna~ (and anyone else who wants to read)"
66.167.250.18
Cat,
David
: Mmm...Dunno if you're out of the slumps
: now...but if it's any comfort (although I
: don't know why it should be), I was/am
: feeling somewhat like you. For me, it was a
: bunch of bad things happening/discovered one
: after another...and I think I've lost most,
: if not all, of my self-confidence. I haven't
: gained much of it back...then when I started
: grad school last fall, I think I've
: completely lost my sense of identy, of
: who/what I am.
:
: To put the last one simply, I'm torn (after
: all these years!) between my traditional
: culture and the one I'm in. You'd think I
: would have had felt this pull long ago, but
: funny enough, I'm feeling it now. I want to
: go back to Japan to live, but on the other
: hand, I know that if I do, I'll be yearning
: to come back to the States. Most of my
: friends are here. But then again, most of my
: relatives are there.
:
: I never really thought that cultural
: identity mattered that much until I lost a
: much more fundamental sense of self. It's
: not something I can go into detail in
: public, but suffice to say, I felt like
: perhaps I shouldn't have been born and that
: perhaps the world would have been a happier
: place without me. I know I didn't do any
: good when things were at stake.
:
: ...I'm still a very sheltered person and I
: probably can't understand many of the
: problems that other people face. I
: mean....financially I'm extremely tight but
: not that desperate. No one's abusing me
: verbally or physically. It's not as if I've
: a serious physical ailment. So...I think I
: shouldn't be so depressed and stressed out
: except I am. The best I can do is tell
: myself that things could be even
: worse...what a cheering thought. -v-;;;
:
: And I completely lost track of what I was
: going to say. I mean, it's not as if I want
: to make you more depressed or something! I
: guess what I want to say is...even if I
: almost never check the message board or your
: site, I'm here for you. In fact, even though
: I never check up on people because I'm lazy,
: everyone here is always on my mind, even if
: it's a back corner and it's with the guilty
: thought that I should check back more often.
: XD
:
: We're all kind of remote now, but if it
: makes you feel any better, I'm here and
: thinking of you. I'm sure everyone else is
: too. I can give you annoying advices, like
: count your blessings, look for the silver
: lining on the cloud, etc., but I think what
: makes _me_ feel better is knowing that there
: are people in my heart who keep me in their
: hearts (or at least, I hope they do! XD).
: And if you ever need to talk online or in
: rl, just let me know. I'm still in the
: garden state! ^_-
:
: And all of it goes for everyone else too! :D
: But if I disappear from the message board
: again, just bug Ari or Minmei. XD My sisters
: keep better track of things than I do and
: they can bug me if I'm being remiss again!
: XP
:
: Okay, enough with the long entry. Cat, Out!
:
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