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Posted by jjb on 5/5/2006, 10:39 am, in reply to "As we wind down this chapter of the board I was wondering?" The issue of 'control' is one that is touted by the domestic violence industry as the root cause of all abuse. But then again, they used to say it was drugs and alcohol until that idea didn't pan out. Then they switched to an 'anger and rage' meme until they realized that some abusers were cold and calculating sociopaths who showed no signs of anger. What they don't say a lot is that they attribute this desire for control to the patriarchal society that conditions men to be dominant controllers and women to be submissive servants to the man's control. The domestic violence industry also don't try to look any deeper than control. In the Violence Against Women Act that was renewed a few months ago, there was little if any money to investigate either the causes or the proper treatment of abusers. But they did spend a lot of money on research to find more diverse ways to reach victims, such as Native American women on reservations and Muslim women. It's good that they do so, but maybe it's better to solve the problem and not just continue to treat the symptoms that only surface after someone gets beat up. So does 'control' cause abuse? I know very few real 'control freaks' whose desire is to be in control regardless of the outcome. In the case of police officers you're more likely to encounter control freaks because it's a profession that attracts people who like to control others. But there are a lot of abusers who aren't control freaks. They're just seemingly average people with this sin they try to hide from everyone else. Some of them live exemplary lives outside their homes. So what makes them different? Is it the wife's fault? Does she deserve it? No! There's no excuse for violence except to stop other violence. Which, by the way, there are many violent women who abuse their husbands and boyfriends. But even that wouldn't excuse this policeman's behavior. Rather than control being the root, there's something else there. Something deeper than what's seen on the surface. James said, "From whence come wars and fightings among you, come they not hence, even of the lusts that war in your members". I won't go into it here but there's a passage in II Timothy 3:1-8 that, in my opinion, describes where these problems come from. I believe that it describes the underlying heart attitudes that lead people to abuse others. To put it another way the passage describes the 'lusts' that war in their members. But we're all tempted with those same things that every man is tempted with. What makes them any different that they would go so far? Is it that they yielded to a demon that took over? Maybe, but demons only take over in particular areas which someone yields. Only in extreme cases does it take over the whole person. So what else could explain it? I think it becomes a matter of values. When a person values their own desires more than the well-being of those around them they have crossed the line into abuse. Jesus said, "where your treasure is there will your heart be also." They've begun to love themselves and their desires more than they love their spouse. This also explains why abusers often claim to love the one they're hurting. They do love them. They just love themselves more. Even so, how could anyone hurt another the way they do? Don't they have a conscience? Don't they have normal human compassion? Well, a conscience can be seared. It starts small and becomes easier as the behavior is repeated. Maybe it started with cruelty to animals. Maybe it migrated over to human beings when they were getting in fights in school or picking on smaller kids or beating them up. Compassion? You mean the thing that comes from feeling the same way? Maybe they stopped letting themselves feel it. The heart of man is deep, who can know it. There's another passage that I think shows what contributes to the problem. Ecclesiastes 8:11 (KJV) "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil." Behavior that has no apparent consequences is repeated and usually increases. It's too early to get any real information about this policeman from the media. Give it a few weeks of months to find out what has gone on. But in the case of David Brame, the former police chief in Tacoma, it seems like that he loved his position in the department more than he loved his wife, and more than he loved even his own life. It seems to be the exposure of his problems, which threatened his position, that led to his fatal actions. I'm surmising this based on both media reports and information from those close to the situation. But this is just my opinion.
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What is it that makes those men different than any of us? Are they men of like passions? Or are they just born evil, destined to become the most vile of human beings?
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