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Posted by JBEAR 1978
on 1/2/2006, 2:34 am
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years! Since I was 16, and, now I'm 27!Last night NYE we went to a club in NYC I hated it becaus ehe was on so much Special K & E and, I was sober, I don't do drug's and it was like 9 am & I wanted to go home! So him & his cousin drove me home , then went back to the club! I went to sleep & I woke up at 3pm , and he still was not home! So I got in the car went back to the club, (because I don't trust him! He was still there messed up out of his mind! Hanging out with these girl's that him & his friend's are friend's with! Anyway we got home at 6 pm , and I just looked though his cell phone & the cell has a video clip recorder & i saw him kissing one of the girls on a vieo clip! Mean while last night at midnight after the balll dropped he told me , that he know's that he's been wrong and done alot messed up stuff to me , but he's about to turn 30 and , told me not to bring up the past & let's move on from here let's start this new year fresh and I'm going to be different! What bull shit!WHEN IS THE CLUB SCENE , DRUG'S AND THESE YOUNG DRUGGIE GIRL'S GONNA STOP! HELLO HE'S ALMOST 30!There is so much detail I can get into , but I'll try to sum it up!He is a drug user (special k) , cheated on me through out the whole 10 year's, lied to me, emotional abused me, some physical abuse, spits on me, call's me a CUN*, a BITC*, broken promises, play's mind games, etc. I can't get over him!I made this guy my life! I would cancel plan's , not finish school etc. etc. to be with him! I just wanted to know if I was wasting my life with him, & if we were going to ever get married & settle down, because I was with him for 10 year's. He could never answer that. I would cook, clean, take care of him to every degree, & I would never get anything back. He never want's to talk about our relationship, when I bring it up! He's say's I don't want to talk about this now! I love him so much. I was such a good girl to him. He told he can't be with me because I always b###h & moan to him , I can't trust him. I would only complain to him about the other women , because it hurt so much! I could never trust him because of the tons girls I found out he was with, talking to , or cheating on me with for the 10 years, so I always would think about that & I can't trust him! No one will ever put up with as much sh** that I would for him & no one will ever be as good to him as me!!Why doesn't he love me! His friends are so mean to me, and they are his life , he leaves me for them in the drop off a dime!!! Help I tried to get over him before , and I get so weak and, run back!!! He tell's girl's like me come dime a dozen & He's going to treat his next girl like gold! That kill's me... Why can't I get him out of my head & why can't I leave him , I wan't to be strong, and I'm so weak. I'm almost 30 , and I wan't to settle down so bad, will I ever find that guy before it's to late, who will treat me like gold! Please help.. I don't know what to do...
IT'S SO HARD FOR ME BECAUSE OF THIS PATTERN FOR ALMOST 11 YEAR'S !!! P.S. I LIVE WITH HIM TOO!
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