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Posted by Yvonne on 1/23/2006, 8:22 am, in reply to "New need advice"
Lisa, you stated you are enabling your husband. Yes you are, why would he take responsibility when you take it for him? Do you think it may be time to start taking care of yourself and go on with your goals in life? If you really want to go back to school there are ways to do it. Maybe if you quit worrying about your husband and start taking care of yourself you can move on. Do you go to alanon meetings? We should not take care of someone unless they are physically or mentally unable to do it for themselves. That doesn't seem the case with your husband, it sounds like he chooses not to take responsibility. Why would anyone take care of themselves if someone is willing to do it for them? When are you going to take care of yourself and your wants and needs? Just a few things you may want to think about. You also said he has not had a job since you have been together, do you think he will ever get a job if you keep taking care of him? It also sounds like he is playing the blame game and making everything seem like it is your fault, why would you accept that? You have been taking care of him since day one, if you don't make some positive choices for yourself I would be surprised if he will ever change. I hope you get yourself out of the victim role, and also the martyr role. You can have a better life, with or with out your husband. Know he will not change if he doesn't have to. Good luck Yvonne
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