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Posted by S Now, I am seeing someone new, and it hasn't even been a week (although we have spent 4 nights together already and had 3-hour long phone conversation), I feel like I can be pretty obsessive with this person to the point that I feel like it's psychotic. I have thought about where he is... what he's doing, who he's with, whether he's with another person romantically, why he hasn't called me back, etc... and the "relationship" is still very much in its infancy. I have tried to act disinterested in the relationship, perhaps in a sense to manipulate the relationship and have him like me more. I know this is the early sign of codependenct relationship, so I feel like I should be pulling out. I'm scared as hell that if I continue this, I would like him so much that when it ends, I would go through an episode of major depression. I cannot go through depression again, I have to focus on graduate school and full-time work. But of course I like him too, so I know I need to work on this myself. I just want a normal, healthy feelings about him that grows as we get to know each other. I want to be independent with my life, and also want to give him space so he can do whatever he wants with his. I don't want to dominate anyone's life. I'm afraid that if I do so, I would just pull him away. And the viscious cycle begins... I like him too much, he rejects me, and then I'm depressed. Of course if he knows how i'm feeling, I'm sure he would think "you're a nut case, and I'm outta here." So it's really f-ing hard to try to hide it too... I know I am a nut case (so hard to swallow), but I own it and I know I need to get help. But where can I find help? What self-talk do I need to do to achieve my goal of independence in a relationship? Please advise if you can. ANY opinion is better than nothing.... No feelings will be hurt, just tell it as it is. I'm tough. Thank you,
on 4/22/2006, 7:19 pm
Hi everyone. I feel like I have codependent tendencies, and it's really bothering me. I have a history of liking someone too much early on in the relationship, and then when it ends (usually after two dates), I would spend a week or so feeling down
S
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