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Posted by evewuzframed269
on 5/21/2006, 8:42 am
I'm addicted to a set of identical twin men. i have been obsessed with the younger one for 8 years, but he was in a (14 year) committed relationship and i was dating his brother. I dated the older one for 4 1/2 years, and I lived with the younger one for a couple of months 1 1/2 year after breaking up with the elder. You see, I was negotating getting back with the elder twin when the younger one called and I dropped everything and moved in with the younger twin. i thought it was pursueing my dream, that I had finally gotten the call, that I had one chance to seize everything I ever wanted. i worshipped the ground the younger twin walked on until I actually had him and was disappointed. For years I thought of what it would be like it only he was there with me at the moment; it become like the younger twin was a type of imaginary friend all of the time I was dateing his brother. Anyway, my current obession is targeted towards the elder brother: the one who put an engagement ring on my finger. (And it's not because he wanted to marry me.)
My therapist looked like she was about ready to cry when I told her that I was moving in with one of them, and asked her advice on which one. She said neither, that she gave me 2 months before (relaspsing on) drugs or my (Bipolar) depression killed me if I moved in with either. She was also concerned with the enemies I had made playing Scammy to try to manipulate people's lives behind the scenes, mostly to get the younger twin to leave his ex. My therapist said that I could never trust either one of them after all that had already happened. It doesn't seem to matter that over the years the older twin beat me, cheated on me, used drugs, had a secret crack habit, drank (he did quit drinking for me), lied constantly, and stood me up then expected me to drop everything when it was convienent for him to see me.
The problem is that I'm so obsessed with the older twin, my ex fiance, that I'm not even taking care of my own basic daily needs. When I think of my own life I feel overwhelmed by all of the priorities and stuff that should have already been done. I guess it's easier for me to blow off my sense of identity, wellbeing, and dreams and focus on something external that my rational mind knows is beyond my control. I guess the twins are a distraction from reality and an excuse to myself not to get anything constructive done to better myself. Plus, I am lonely and I have no other social stimuli besides memory and imagination. I am also bored.
Anway, I spend all day researching public records to find out stuff about the older twin and the 2 rich older women he's living with in a different state; he claims to be involved with both in an open relationship, but had to sneak to call me not to mess up what he's got going on there. Clearly, he's moved on with his life. How can I beat this addiction to him and move on with my life?
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