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Posted by Serena on 6/10/2006, 11:55 am
Hi,
I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. I had been taken advantage of by the first guy I was ever with and that had set the tone for my future relationships with men. There has been constant mistrust and spying on my part along with sleeping with guys too quickly. My current boyfriend is not coda but he has a bit of a temper. My spying, checking his call logs, email, etc... was all because he first lied about an ugly girl he once hooked up with. However, my irrational codependent side which i thought was fading away has come back with avengeance. I have made him hate me, not trust me, call me a loser, pathetic, etc... It is always my irrational actions and emotional instability that drives him away and makes him disgusted with me. I do not want to break up with him, but will be out of the country for a month and will use that as time for myself. However, how do I reassure him that we are not hopeless and that people like me will not always be this way... I hate the feelings of mistrust that I have and I hate the way spying on him makes me feel, it has become a compulsion now and I continuiously destroy what we continue to work so hard to fix, it is like we are in an endless cycle and I have lost a wonderful man because I cant control my codependent tendencies.
i am only 21 and have quite a ways to go on my journey, but i would appreciate any advice...
thanks
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