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Posted by Michele on 6/14/2006, 4:48 pm
I've been in a relationship for a total of 12 1/2years with this man. Due to his drinking we had broken up and he remarried. The marriage didn't last. We decided to give it another try when I found out he wasn't drinking like he use to. He has been wonderful for the past two 1/2 years. He still drinks but only two or three a day. Some days none. The problem is his son who is almost 30 Years old has an alcohol problem that's destroying my relationship with the boyfriend. He has no drivers license due to domestic/alcohol. He is on probation after spending 4 months in jail. He promised his father (my boyfriend)and his mother he would seek help if they would bail him out of jail. I told my boyfriend to stop enabling him, he isn't going to go to rehab. Well, his son hasn't stopped drinking for the past year, and if he gets caught(probation)he automatically goes for 6 months to jail. His son showed up with his father(my boyfriend)(the sons ride to everything) at my daughter's graduation drunk. His father told me he was ashamed of his kid. I could see the frustration on his face. All his relatives that were there said they couldn't believe how he was acting 
. His ex-wife called that same day and said she was kicking the son out of her house.
His father told his son the night he was drunk that he was disgusted with his son. The next day, of course the son isn't going to remember. Acts like nothing happened. I got a message from my boyfriend saying he and his son were going to attend calling hours (after work)for his son's boss whose father passed away. My boyfriend did some construction for the family and said he should attend. Of course, his son needed a ride. OK Here's me thinking half hour, two hours at the most. They ended up going to the funeral and then attending the after funeral engagement after. I called my boyfriend at 10:00 that same night to see where he was. He said they were still at the sons' boss's house having a few drinks. I was upset because I couldn't believe he was still there that late and after he said he was ashamed of his kid there he is drinking with him. I was sounding a little perturbed on the phone. I told the boyfriend that I had enough of his son and something had to change. The son is out of control yet is controlling you. He told me I don't need this tonight. Well, the boyfriend didn't come home that night. He hasn't answered me or called in two days. We live together. So, here I am feeling angry, upset, and appauled that he is totally ignoring me and treating me like I'm wrong for how I feel. He had found out that week that his mom put her house up for sale and was auctioning everything. He was upset with that. OK. His son embarrassed him at a party. OK. I say something about it, and I'm punished. Is he taking things out on me or am I out of line. I did call his son the next day to find out if he knew where his father was. I could be in a car accident and obviously he doesn't care. Of course, the kid's going to lie. I told the son that I was tired of him disrupting his father and our relationship. Making our life miserable. I told him he needed to grow up. I told him that he had a low self esteem that is making matters worse, and that if he doesn't go get help I was calling the probation officer and letting him know of the alcohol. First thing he said to me was he was telling his dad. I said OH Well!! I am angry and hurt. Please give me some input. I don't think I deserve this kind of treatment. Should I have kept my mouth shut?
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