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Posted by Deb I finally figured out I never have had these for hubby....so good news....wow...these feelings...bad news....your marriage is wrong. Alrighty. You know the soul mate sorta feeling....the one you're passionate about. You like him, he likes you...again with the flirting....the sexual talk and eventually.....All seemed and was normal. But something happened....something with me. And he noticed it and it's pushing him away and that's not the direction I want him to go. But the more he pulls away the harder I push and I can't help it. My moods are based on if he text's me or not, if he's in a good mood or not....The constant question of what happened? Did I suddenly become unattractive? What? I know....it's me! He sensed the co-dependent part being born. Where did this come from? and why? I mean this is a very important relationship and I'm throwing it away with this! I want to stop thinking about him.... Get this...I've given him an out....tell me to get lost....HE WON'T! No emails, no texting, no IM's, but if I don't say something in a few days....there he is. I try to test the waters to see if things can get back to where they were, but he never bites.... At least now I know.....and I'm seeing a therapist..... and he says "That's a good start" ugh! I hate this PIT in my stomach. I want things the way they were. Where did I change...when was it and what did I do wrong... any responses would be great! It's hard to talk to a best friend that is STILL married to her long time love and happily...they just don't understand.
on 7/6/2006, 11:43 pm
OMG...I'm codependent! At least there's a word for this pain,nausa,anxious feeling. Yep, married, but laid eyes on someone whom I can't get out of my mind...2 years ago. Flirt, emails, IM's....All these feelings I've never known....I'm 40.
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