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Posted by JM on 8/9/2006, 10:16 am
My story is this. I have been with this guy for about 4 years now. When I met him, it was the lowest time in his life. I literally picked up the pieces and helped him. I thought he deserved it. Long story short, we broke up last year as he was drinking outside and at times I didn't see Along with times I was there. He is an alcoholc and it runs in his family. His mood swings have made me feel like I am nothing. He swore he would change last year and we got back together. He lives with me and now that I have helped him through other problems, he treats me like crap. His mood swings are back though the drinking is not as much.
All I wanted was to be loved and have a family but he could care less. He proposed because I told him I wanted that or I would end it. I have NO self esteem. Each day is a battle. His income pays for our living so I am at home cooking and cleaning for him. I have NO self esteem and feel like I am totally pathetic. I used to cry each day and get sick. I just don't know how another man will love me since I have been through this for almost 4 years and feel like this is it. I have NO friends to top it off because he wouldn't let me and my friends drifted. It's embarassing. He loves to make me cry. I am afraid to get out there again. He was nothing I wanted when I met him and now I feel like he is everything I need.
The irony is when I met him, I felt like I was on top of the world and he was the one who was in the hole. He drank each night in his apartment, alone. Now I am the one with no esteem and he seems to be running this show. I just need a friend to help me. 
Can anyone be a friend and help me? Maybe we can help each other.
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