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Posted by NC on 9/10/2006, 9:07 pm
Married 25 yrs to a heavy drinker. Thought if I hung in there eventually he would stop or slow down. He knocked my self-esteem and I belittled him. I wasn't happy but was committed to the relationship. One day he leaves for a co-worker that is twenty yrs younger. Rationally in my head I know I wasn't happy, I didn't like him very much as a person yet it has been a year and a half since he left and I feel a loss. I seem to be more interested in his life and am very critical of him. I can't seem to find my way back to myself and what makes me happy. I have no clue. I remind myself that I have developed dysfunctional thinking trying to survive in a dysfunctional marriage. But why can't I let go. It is frustating and getting really old.
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