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Posted by Alex Maggard on 1/23/2007, 12:01 pm "Codependent people have a huge hole in them that needs to be fixed. They find temporary relief via another person's redemption through them, as it allows them to redeem themselves when they see themselves through the other's eyes. This may possibly be the reason why codependents almost always choose mates that have 'problems'. They can find a temporary patch for their own 'hole' by fixing others'. " I'm a senior now (18 years old), and I can honestly say I've been doing that since I was 14. Somewhere along the line I just got trapped into doing things for other people in order for them to pity me. My parents are a wreck (both are alcoholics, one is a manic depressive and the other is going through post traumatic stress disorder and has codependent tendencies). I often trap myself into relationships with women who have either emotional issues (such as abuse) or addictions and what not and I'm just so tired of feeling like there isn't a soul that cares about me. I don't want to make a martyr of myself anymore, I just want to be a normal person. For the longest time I thought I was just battling depression, but when I came here and read that article I realized it described me to a T. I'm a writer and I'm writing a little auto-biographical type fiction novel, and one of the lines was, "At times it just seems like I'm going through the motions of being depressed, rather than actually being so," and I have to say I couldn't have said it better. I adopted symptoms of depression in order for someone to pity me, but it didn't happen because when people did reach out to me it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I want to change, but I really don't know how. I'm going to a psychiatrist for the first time on the 29th of this month, but I'm just wondering beyond that what steps can I take so that I can recover?
I started perusing this site because a friend of mine mentioned that he thought I was codependent. I checked out the site and a lot of it really hit home with me. You're probably going to laugh about me having my "life-crisis" or whatever you want to call it since I'm still in high school, but I think codependency is a serious problem of mine. This line especially struck me:
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