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Posted by Brenda on 11/9/2005, 4:38 pm
It is pretty sad that my 17 year old daughter's counseller has to inform her that she and her Mom are co-dependent. I know we depend on each other too much but never really knew what "co-dependent" meant. Well today I fully researched it and am appalled. You see, I am a young single mom, raised by a obsessive compulsive control freak of a father and an alcoholic mom and step father. My mom eventually committed suicide. When I was young I hid car keys poured alcohol down the drain called in sick for her, paid bills made excuses... looked after the house, made sure they ate.. their idea of eating was buying a bunch of burgers from Salisbury and eating those for the next week. I lied to my friends ran away dropped out of school tried to admit my Mom to a dryout clinic, hospital etc..... tried to live with my Dad... even worse... would rather live with 2 alcoholics. Now I have a daughter who is 17. I have never had a long relationship...I seem to destroy them or the guy destroys me. I always thought I just "attracted" losers... Little did I know that I look for them. My daughter has had so many problems with school, life, friends, I have been there for her... thru it all... taking care of it all.. but I dont think I ever realized why it was all happening.
I have suffered from chronic back pain for 5 years. I just finished having my second back surgery, I have permanent damage in my left leg to the muscles and reflex. I think I have used this as a crutch to hide from society and to alienate myself from life. I do not know how to get back in the game. I have become a binge eater, and chronically depressed... I want to live, I just do not know how. I dont want this kind of life for my daughter I want her to be happy... when she was only 7 she was diagnosed with severe depression and I was told she would always need help because of scoring so low in mental aptitude tests. In Grade 7 she was in the lower end of brilliant, but she is still so troubled and I fear it stems from me. I want her to be happy but how do I promote that when I am so miserable??? Please help me. I do not know what to do.. I am more than happy to go to counselling with her and I know that is a start... but I feel like I have been the cause of her problems and I just want to make it right.
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