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Posted by Helmo on 11/11/2005, 8:49 am Her introduction brought about the realisation that there were a number of things missing from my relationship with him. After many attempts to bring this up, we ended up fighting verbally... I slapped him across his face once and he manhandled me a bit. Eventually, I got tired of him controlling me and also of the fighting and I left. He has now realised that his personality caused a lot of the problems we had and that he was the cause of the breakup because his own insecurities prevented him from giving me what I wanted. During the relationship my own need to feel needed and the desire to do everything myself made me give more than I really wanted to... that is, I gave up some activities that I enjoyed because he used to fuss about it when I wasn't around.... I lost touch with a lot of friends. Now, 4 months after the breakup, he is still begging me to come back and threatening to kill himself cause his life doesn't make sense without me he says. Meanwhile, I have moved on to a new relationship where I have been giving and giving and so seeing my codependence acting.... In the last relationship and in this one, I can see that it will end eventually but the other person has visions of forever. What kind of person am I that I can stay in the realtionship when I know it's going to end and the other person wants to build a life together? What kind of person can go along with this and give them what they want while feeling unfulfilled and unhappy? I don't think I want to go back and I know this relationship will end eventually... I also don't want to be responsible for someone else taking their own life. I'm also depressed and thinking of death as a friend but I know I can't kill myself... it's a selfish way to deal. Can anyone give me some advice on this? I'm really sinking here.
I recently came out of a five-year-engagement which I ended after we had been fighting for three months straigth after we brought another girl into the relationship to try to "spice up" our sex life.
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