EVEN DeepER Blurting!: DBNS: Bottom of the "Seventh"

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DBNS: Bottom of the "Seventh"

Posted by Kenneth Morgan on 6/30/2009, 9:45 pm

Today, Kenneth Morgan dedicates this column to Uranus. No need to feel flattered, though.
*****
Okay, more than once you’ve heard me whine and complain about all the movies set on Mars. I mean, there are nine other listed planets in our solar system (including the new one nobody remembers). Why not try going to one of them for a change? I mean, Kubrick did it in “2001”, so the ice is broken, right? Well, I asked and I received, though I’m not too sure I like what I got.

In fact, what I got is our subject for today: “Journey to the Seventh Planet”, made in Denmark and released in the States by AIP in 1962

The movie is set in the distant future year of 2001. (Think I mentioned Kubrick by accident back there?) It seems that man is now a peace-loving species, war has been abolished, the U.N. runs the world, and we’ve sent manned expeditions to most of the other planets in our solar system. (In 2001? I guess I wasn’t paying attention back then.) So far, no life has been found on any of the other planets. So, the spacecraft Explorer 12 (that’s a hum-drum name) is sent to explore one of the thus-far unexplored worlds: Uranus (pronounced your-ah-nus, thus avoiding the obvious), the source of some odd signals and radiation.

The U.N. crew, representing multi-cultural Earth, is made up of a bunch of white guys (of course). There’s smart Commander Eric (Carl Ottosen), engineer Svend (Louis Miehe-Renard), “Irish” radar/radio operator O’Sullivan (Ove Springře), German first-time astronaut Karl (Peter Monch), and the token Yank, skirt-chasing Don, played by (groan!) John Agar. Following the traditional stock-footage launch, our intrepid crew flies off on a trip to Uranus that seems to take a day or so, and then prepares to settle into orbit. Suddenly, the crew seems to freeze up at the controls. Then, a rather menacing voice talks about how resistance is futile, their world will soon be conquered, and that it will possess them and “drain their minds”. (SUGGESTED RIFF: That’ll take about a second, right?) Some time later, the crew regains consciousness with no memory of what has occurred. The clocks say only two hours have passed, but other signs indicate it’s been days. Well, that’s peculiar.

The ship lands on Uranus via the reversed film trick memorably used in “King Dinosaur”. To their surprise, the crew finds an Earth-like forest outside (which Sven seems to recognize), along with a breathable atmosphere. Our crew from “peaceful” Earth breaks out the zap guns and heads out. A quick expedition finds that the forest is unreal, lacking in substance. Also, there’s a strange force field surrounding their part of the environment. When Karl sticks his arm into the field, it quickly and painfully freezes. Helpfully, Don actually says, “His arm’s frozen. Just like ice.” (S.R.: As opposed to frozen just like fire?) Karl recovers quickly, and Eric decides they must explore the other side of the field.

Before they can go, though, Eric talks about his boyhood home in Denmark. To the bland shock of the crew, said home appears behind him, piece by piece. They even find Ingrid (Ann Smyrner), Eric’s old girlfriend inside. Eric realizes that the crew’s thoughts are being made reality by some unknown force. (Yeah, we’ve seen it before, but this is an early example of that plot idea.) While Eric orders everyone back to the ship so they can figure things out, smarmy Don stays outside to conjure up a couple of gals from his own past, promising to meet up with them later. (Congress sounds more believable than this guy, actually.)

Anyway, Eric still wants to find out what’s beyond the barrier. So, he gets into space gear and heads in, accompanied by Don and Karl. Inside, he finds the real surface of Uranus: cold and desolate, covered with ice and snow made of frozen ammonia. They continue their search, following the aforementioned traces of unusual radiation. Eventually, they discover a strange, molten mass. Could it be the source of the illusions? Is it an alien life form? Will they find the answers and get back home? Any chance John Agar will stop behaving like a jerk?

On one hand, “Journey to the Seventh Planet” is actually not too bad a movie. The script by director Sid Pink and Ib Melchoir brings up some familiar ideas, but does so long before they got pounded into the ground. (Okay, it’s not as good as “Shore Leave”, but it tries.) The DVD I saw this on features a fine print, with some eye-catching color and interesting design. Also, this was the American release version, which features some new visual effects, including new color tints and some cool stop motion effects from Jim Danforth and Wah Chang. I also liked the character of Eric, the commanding officer. He’s cool-headed, intelligent and takes reasonable risks. By that score, the movie works.

However, there are things on the other side of the equation. Other visual effects (the ones from the original Danish version) aren’t entirely up to par. (I will say, though, that the American version throws in stock footage from “Earth vs. the Spider”, a cheap move.) At times, the crew seems a bit slow to catch onto things; it takes them far too long to pick up on the “thoughts made real” thing. There are some plot points that don’t make too much sense, particularly one involving a late return to the ship in the middle of a crisis that hits the movie like running into a brick wall. Also, and this is just my view, Karl looks a lot like a young David Caruso. So, when the voice talks about how the Earthers can’t resist, I kept expecting Karl to slowly put on dark glasses and growl, “That…is gonna change,” followed by Roger Daltry’s opening scream. Now, I could’ve overlooked all of these items. But, that leaves the worst thing of all: John Flipping Agar.

As usual, Agar plays his role with a smugness and superiority that really ticks off a viewer. He has an attitude that he’s the hero of the movie when, actually, he’s closer to the comic relief sidekick. (Think of Kurt Russell in “Big Trouble in Little China”, only nowhere near as great.) He also lays on the smarm with a steam shovel, obsessing over girls (including Eric’s old flame Ingrid!) even in the midst of danger to his crewmates. The only good point I can think of is that he tones down his usual John Wayne routine, unlike in, say, the previously-reviewed “Invisible Invaders”. Beyond that, Agar brings the movie way down.

The movie does, though, provide a lot of riffing material. There’s the moment when Eric tells the crew, “Our minds are being probed.” (S.R.: Better your minds than something else, pal.) There’s the scene where twice in two minutes someone says, “What do you make of this?” (S.R.: Oh, I can make a hat! Or a brooch! Or a pterodactyl!) There’s the way that one threat against the crew is pulled out of Karl’s mind. (S.R.: Please don’t think of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!) And any number of riffs can be aimed at Agar’s character, from the time he enters the barrier first and vanishes (S.R.: Sucker! Prepare to take off!) to the time he’s nearly swallowed up the unstable snow (S.R.: Just let it happen, John. Embrace death!).

All in all, “Journey to the Seventh Planet” is not a total loss. It has some good points and some neat design. Actually, if it wasn’t for John Agar, it would’ve scored much higher for me. Oh, well.

Okay, that’s Uranus dealt with. Now let’s move on to this whole stupid thing with demoting Pluto to a “dwarf planet”. How insulting!

CONNECTIONS NOTE: Many of those involved in “Journey to the Seventh Planet” also worked on the previously-reviewed “Reptilicus”, including producer/writer/director Sid Pink, co-writer Ib Melchoir, associate producer Johann Zalabery, art director Otto Lund, and actors Carl Ottosen (Eric) and Ann Smyrner (Ingrid). Pink and Melchoir also worked on the previously reviewed “Angry Red Planet”. Among the SPFX crew, there’s Jim Danforth (who worked on the previously reviewed “Megaforce”) and Wah Chang (from “Master of the World”, which Dex wrote up a while back). Both Danforth and Chang also worked on “Star Trek: TOS” and Joel’s favorite, “The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao”. Among those with multiple MST and DBNS credits are Bert I. Gordon (who did SPFX here), co-producer Samuel Z. Arkoff and composer Ronald Stein. And need I go further with John Agar?