Posted by shirley on 11/6/2009, 8:51 am, in reply to "Thank you, Lianne"
Is that how you spell it?
I have found that when I am 300+ pounds, they are pretty much non-existant... but the closer I get to 200, the more they seem to clear their throat, and raise their voice. My used-to-be best friend is one, but I know hers comes from a very deep-seeded insecurity. I've realized through counseling that her LAST comment to me was the day I started overeating again, and knowing that now... empowers me to be ready for it when it comes this time.
I am not only not interested in her opinion this time, or her criticism... but understand that it is coming from someone who feels out of control and really doens't know how to deal with her own emotions in a healthy way, so to feel better... she tries to be critical of my life, and weight loss.
I don't think any part of her wants to actually hurt me, but in reality, she did and probably will again.
Her last comment to me was about how hurt and left out and unloved she felt when I got below her in weight, and that she felt she had to drop me as a friend to keep from feeling so hurt every time she saw me.
Back then, it devestated me. And I remember thinking that if she felt that way, maybe others did too... and I don't remember making a conscious choice to start overeating again, but that week I also lost my Bubba Bill, and the combination of the two sent me back to the refrigerator for comfort.
Anyway, I have LEARNED that along the way, and the closer we get to goal, the more other people's insecurities come out and being around people who are doing something good with their life, makes them sometimes have to face their own issues...
And often unhealthy people don't see it as an opportunity to join in and choose to change, but instead they feel out of control and last out and hurt others as an attempt to feel better about their own lives.
I wish sometimes that I had the wisdom Paula has in her head as a counselor so I could know why I react the way I do at times... and could keep from having to learn things by making STUPID choices (like gaining 100 pounds back)... but thankfully I have LEARNED from that choice, and am moving back down the scale, a little wiser this time and ready for those comments and people who are my "diet enemies" or would try to sabatoge my efforts.
It is NOT going to stop me this time. I plan on confronting each comment head on and turning it around and giving the responsibility of change to the person dishing it out. I am not buying into those lies and guilt this time.
I have a LOT of supportive, encouraging friends and I'm stickin with the winners this time.
Tons of them on here!!
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