Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can. - Unknown
Posted by Rachael on 11/6/2009, 12:53 pm, in reply to "Sabatours..."
This issue has been ongoing with my closest two friends, and one co-worker, for so long. Gosh, maybe a year now? I let it continue, I let it push me down. In September I finally had enough. It was hard to talk about because it feels like talking behind their backs. I would have to say things about them that I couldn't or wouldn't say to their faces. I was too worried about hurting others' feelings, all the while mine were being hurt every day!
When I reached 100 pounds gone, they minimized it. When I got to Onederland they said "what's the big deal". When I could finally shop in a regular store my one friend said "quit bragging". When I finished the 10k and shared my photos and medal and story, I was called an overachiever. A week ago another Zumba instructor gave me a pair of Zumba cargo pants. I love them. They're a little tighter in the rear than I like, and of course because I have junk in my trunk they don't fit me like they do others. I am not confident in them, so I'll wait a while and they will fit right and I'll rock them out. I told my friend on Saturday that they were tighter than I liked and wasn't going to wear them. On Wednesday she says loudly 'why aren't you wearing your new cargos'. I repeated what I'd said on Saturday and she says that I care too much about that stuff. The 400 calorie holiday party article that I shared yesterday, my co-worker said he'd eat whatever he wanted because it is the holiday season. I said I'd try these because I sure don't want to gain any weight. Then he stares at me and says any weight he gains over the holidays will be lost in the new year.
This kind of crap makes me feel like I can't share things. I have never purposely flaunted anything to do with my weight loss. I'm not in-your-face, look at me, see what I've done. It's a lot of weight and people notice and say things, compliments, and I acknowledge them, answer questions, etc. I want to share my happiness over reaching goals, and be able to talk about my struggles, but I really just can't do that with these friends. It's going to be something that will take getting used to.
In the end, this is my journey. I need to rely on my own self. The choices I make are ones that are right for me.
Thank you so much for being such good friends.
Rachael
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