I heard it ringing but could not trace the sound but eventually found it under my bed.
Unfortunately, it was from Jenee, the therapist I left behind in my other clinic. She left me a msg to call her back asap. I did but another coworker, Alison, answered. I knew immediately what had happened. I had seen a client at that clinic for 4+ years, long history of depression and multiple suicide attempts. Most of them were more cries for help but he was hospitalized never-the-less. She and I had been talking back and forth because he missed an appt with her which is not like him, no call, no return call. I was nervous but let it roll for another week until after his second standard appt. When he missed the second one and all calls were going to his voicemail, I reached out; looked for family members...kept checking the obituaries. Anyway, the call was from Jenee to tell me that Bryan had killed himself. One of the docs saw it in the paper. There was no info provided but I'm sure I know what happened. She is devastated as if it's somehow her fault, that if I had still been there, he would still be alive. I did pull him through many suicidal moments and knew him very well but it could have happened on my watch as well. I feel renewed anger about why I left the clinic...none of this had to happen.
Grats are that Alison is there for her today and that I'm off so I can meet up with her later if she wants. I have a bone density scan this morning and a couple of errands and then I'm done.
For Krista for reaching out to me and for others doing the same.