I totally understand the vacuum cleaner thing. Why is it that it is so difficult to get that sucker (pun intended) out of the closet at times? I have those problems too sometimes and I am obsessive about keeping a clean house most of the time, though you wouldn't believe it if you walked in right now. There are just times that I feel paralyzed and getting to the closet, let alone getting it out and using it feels monumental. There are times it has sat in a prominent location for a few days taunting me before I worked up the fight to use it.
You already know what you need to do. Please find ways to do it even if it is not the way you want to do it right now. Go through a window if that door is closed. Even the crying. Crying is therapeutic and you of all of us know that. Whatever is on the other side of the crying is never as horrible and big as if feels like it will be. What we fear is rarely ever there at all, just in our fear of it that keeps growing until we deal with it. Reach out and try to include more friends in your daily life. I can see home health becoming very limiting if you allow it. Know we are here. E-mail or call someone on here that you feel connected with. Don't continue to carry this burden alone.