I had a friend who was the caretaker for her Mom. She said there were times when she had to become like a drill sergeant like this:
Friend - Mom, get ready to go. We're going out.
Mom - I don't really feel like going out.
Friend - Well, I want to go out to lunch, so get ready to go.
Would that scenario work with your brother? Could you tell him Ray is taking him out to lunch/dinner? Don't make it an option. Don't give your brother the chance to say no. Tell your brother you need some time with your Dad.
Then, there were times when my friend would call her Mom's doctor, and stay on the line until she got answers or action. My friend can be tenacious. You're not being a bother. You're being tenacious.
As always, you and your family are in my prayers! Do what you can, then give it to God.
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