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Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can. - Unknown

Need prayers for my Mike... (long)

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 10:30 am

Last night Mike called me at 2 am. He said that he has been using cocaine for a long time and is very addicted. That he is ready to check himself into rehab and get clean and sober.

I was shocked, of course. I have so many feelings right now. I knew he periodically drank too much - but, never saw the other. However, I don't live in the same town.

He said he's a high functioning addict. Works (never misses a day of work), bought a house, got married, takes care of his family - but, always has this addiction on his mind and in his needs.

He told Meghan last night. She didn't know. She says she's with him in with all the way. I hope so - we'll see how it goes as he begins this journey. We all have alot to process with this information.

I don't know what to feel or exactly how I can help. I guess that will come with time.

I am a mom - no matter what age your children are - you want to make it 'all better.' However, I can't do this for him. It's killing me.

I am feeling so badly. Murray said - "He's not the first person to need to go to rehab.Better he gets to it and he shouldn't worry what others think." That's one thing he mentioned to me last night - how his grandma's will feel when they find out.

I am feeling numb, sad, angry, guilty and many more.

Please pray for him to get through the first and life long challenges of this illness.

Thanks.

Beverly

Posted by Kerrie on 11/2/2009, 1:40 am, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

Wish I could do or say something to change this for your family. You are in my thoughts as allways my friend.

I appreciate your good thoughts, Kerrie.

Posted by Beverly on 11/2/2009, 7:37 am, in reply to "Beverly"

If only there were some magic words to make this have a good outcome. Thanks so much, friend.

Everyone on this board knows something about fighting addiction.

Posted by Paula on 11/1/2009, 9:39 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

so, we can identify with what he is facing.

With cocaine and alcohol, there is the added dimensions of physical addiction, the expense, the illegality...but each of us knows what he's facing...the cravings, the needing to find new ways of coping, the stigma, the self-hatred, the shame, the slips and do-overssssssssssssssssss, the associated health problems....all of it.

And, those of us who are smart knows that the journey really is ODAT or even one minute at a time.

This has to be so hard to hear but, like the others said, it is fantastic that he has come out with it all. You all are in my prayers.
(((((Beverly, Murray, Mike, Meghan, Alex))))

You are very wise, friend

Posted by Beverly on 11/2/2009, 7:34 am, in reply to "Everyone on this board knows something about fighting addiction."

It is so much of what we all go through plus the illegality of it, too. I appreciate your prayers more than you will know.

Oh goodness my friend what a shock

Posted by Gee on 11/1/2009, 8:48 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

he hasn't taken the biggest step admitting it & seeking treatment. Prayers on the way & we are here for you! HUGs

Yes, I was shocked -

Posted by Beverly on 11/2/2009, 7:35 am, in reply to "Oh goodness my friend what a shock"

he has taken the first step. I appreciate your support and prayers.

((Beverly))

Posted by Karla on 11/1/2009, 3:39 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

What a difficult problem but what hopeful signs Mike has sent your way...willing to admit his problem, reaching out for help, a supportive family. Praying he gains to strength, information and resolve in rehab to kick this to the curb. ((Hugs and patience)) to you!

Thanks so much.

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 7:24 pm, in reply to "((Beverly))"

Your words are comforting to me. I appreciate your good thoughts towards Mike, too.

Bev I am so sorry...

Posted by shirley on 11/1/2009, 11:12 pm, in reply to "Thanks so much."

what a shock that must be to hear. But what a blessing to know he is fully ready to get help. I will pray for him, his family and especially you. You struggle with your own drug of choice... food, so you know first hand how easy it is to be so drawn to something so deadly. You can be a real light and source of understanding for him through this, and I'm so grateful you are his mom.

Love you and I'm praying...

Yes, it's true

Posted by Beverly on 11/2/2009, 7:30 am, in reply to "Bev I am so sorry..."

I certainly understand addiction. Thank you for your incite and prayers, friend. It means alot.

Prayers en route

Posted by Krista on 11/1/2009, 3:34 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

I can only imagine how hard it was for him to admit this to you and for you to hear it. Being willing to go to rehab is such a huge step forward. I will keep Mike and his wife and son and you and Murray all in my thoughts and prayers. My heart goes out to you all.

Thank you...

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 7:24 pm, in reply to "Prayers en route"

thank you, thank you for all your prayers. They mean alot. I've been scared all day.

I know someone who...

Posted by Lianne on 11/1/2009, 3:13 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

was in that EXACT situation. I've known him and his family for 24 yers or so.

He actually went away to rehab in Minnesota for a month.

The thing is this was nearly 5 years ago and he is doing wonderful. He is stronger and happier than ever. He takes it day by day. I am so happy for him.

Have faith. These things are heart breaking and so tough for everyone,especially when it is a surprise like this.

None the less time passes and this too shall pass and will become another :blip: in the road.

I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hang in, Bev. We love you.

Lianne - it's so good to see your post.

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 7:27 pm, in reply to "I know someone who..."

Your words have helped me very much. You are right - he is on his way to start really working on this. He has made the first steps towards it.

I am so happy to see your name here. I hope you are doing better each day, friend.

Thanks Beverly for all your kind words : ) nt

Posted by Lianne on 11/1/2009, 8:07 pm, in reply to "Lianne - it's so good to see your post."

: )

I will keep him and you...

Posted by Cindy on 11/1/2009, 1:58 pm, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

in my prayers. A lot of addicts have to lose everything before they realize they need help. Luckily Mike didn't have to have that happen! I am so glad that he called you and talked to you about this. Clearly he is serious about kicking this habit! What kind of job does he have? I'm betting that his boss will save his job for him. I'm so glad his wife is standing by him. Keep us posted...hopefully there is a rehab facility nearby. Sending you (((((HUGS))))).

Thanks so much

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 2:29 pm, in reply to "I will keep him and you..."

Mike works for his father in law at the family business - it's a college restaurant and bar. Both he and Meg work there. Mike is a hard worker, I've heard. So, I would assume his FIL will save his job.

I'll keep you posted.

But he's come to youa

Posted by Fran on 11/1/2009, 11:06 am, in reply to "Need prayers for my Mike... (long)"

And to other loved ones. That is a huge first step.

I will be sending you love and support through this long process.

Head up. Everyone gets their own choices and most of them have nothing to do w/ how they were parented. We do our best!

Thanks...

Posted by Beverly on 11/1/2009, 2:31 pm, in reply to "But he's come to youa"

of course, I am trying to figure it all out. I don't know if I'll ever know why - I don't know if Mike will know this.

I pray that he can follow through. Thanks for your thoughts.

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