I think you are really smart
Posted by Delta on 6/25/2018, 3:13 pm, in reply to "Thanks for the encouragement. Cindy and Shirley."
to use your time reading, praying and meditating regarding your bingeing. |
I don't have a problem with bingeing, I am a nibble and nosh my way through the day when I don't want to pay attention so I don't have a lot of advice. I did have a very close friend that got on a binge and purge cycle and had to be hospitalized for several months. One of the things that they worked on there was that, in the beginning anyway, she was allowed to binge when she felt that she needed to BUT she had to do it their way. Their way being:
She had to set a nice place setting at the table complete with placemat, a nice plate, silverware, napkin.
She had to only measure out one serving of whatever she wanted to binge on at a time.
After measuring out correct portions she had to put everything away and wash up her measuring utensils.
She had to sit down at the table to eat and chew each bite at least 20 times, even applesauce.
After she cleaned her plate she had to write down what she ate, what was eating her that made her want to binge, if she still wanted to eat more, if eating had really made her feel better, and if she felt that eating more would make her feel better.
If she chose to eat more she had to set another place setting, measure, clean up after herself and go through the whole thing again.
Even though she had permission to eat as much as she wanted it broke her pattern and she didn't find that she wanted to binge as much. Long before she came home she had stopped the bingeing. Learning to deal with her emotions was a bit harder for her because she thought that anything besides happiness was wrong and she was a bad person for feeling those feelings. Another thing they taught her was that when she was feeling an emotion that made her want to eat that she needed to express that to someone or if she couldn't say it out loud to at least write it down (example: I am angry at my father right now, what my sister said hurt my feelings, it scares me to think that my mother may become disabled in the near future). She really struggled just admitting these feelings because they felt so wrong and she felt so guilty about feeling them.
I don't know that any of these things would affect your reasons for bingeing but just throwing it out there to see how one person was able to do it (she was much, much worse than you are at the time, so much so that her health was hugely impacted). But maybe it can give you some ideas of what you could choose to do to break the pattern, and it is just a pattern.
As always take what you need and leave the rest.