So, this is what I've been pondering.....
Posted by Paula on 8/18/2018, 9:06 am
Talked a long time with one of the primary nurses at the IDC and the Psychiatrist I worked with over there. They want me back as do all of the nurses, Nurse Practitioners and docs. Each of them have told me that my ex boss has been forced to change because of my feedback and the feedback of the other therapist, Jenee. I think I want to do this but have just been pondering. After my long talk with Carol, I knew I wanted to. It's where I did the best work of my career; it's with the medical staff that I love most. Lots of the icky stuff is still there but I'm miserable where I am AND don't like the work. Very conflicted but I do miss the HIV work very, very much. |
So this is the letter I've framed and will send sometime next week after a few more days of 'pondering.'
Dear Drs Nixon and Bearman,
I miss doing the work I truly believe I was meant to do, which is helping people with HIV.
Creating the Mental Health Program and watching it turn into a vital part of the clinic has been the work Iím most proud of in a 35 year career.
I have a passion for work in HIV, helping patients rid themselves of the mental health issues that get in the way of their medical adherence. I was also instrumental in helping many gay men come to turns with being gay, even men in their 50s, who have struggled with their sense of self-worth only because of their sexual orientation.
The day I interviewed with Dr. Kogut, Mike R and Alison, I knew I would get the job. This wasnít grandiosity. Itís just that it was a total Ďhand in gloveí experience. The right person, the right job, the right time. At that point it was a grant-funded position which is something I never considered doing. I was always nervous about a position whose funding might end. But, my commitment to this work and enthusiasm for bringing a mental health program to the clinic, outweighed my fears and I took the job.
I am respected by the clinical team and am still asked if thereís any way I could come back to the clinic.
I left the clinic because of problems with administration, Lenore, specifically. I will say that I left nothing I felt unsaid to her and in my exit interview. I felt an incredible sense of loss because I loved my work and my co-workers. I will say that things had to have become intolerable for me to make the decision to leave. It's been a shame that Aisha Louvion and even Patti Whanger left for similar reasons.
I have spoken to Dr. Kogut, another supporter of my expertise, and he said he would be willing to be my Clinical Supervisor which makes sense because the position is better suited to be under a Psychiatrist. He said that he could not be my administrative supervisor because of the structure of his position and the IDC.
I am currently working at the Motivate Clinic. Itís important work and I know I can help people here but, try as I may, it doesnít bring me the satisfaction that working in the IDC did. I am making more money. I can drive to work. The staff is wonderful but it is just not my passion.
If there is a way for me to come back to the IDC, I want to pursue it. I donít think it would be possible for Lenore and I to have a supervisor/employee relationship again and that could be the end of this discussion. It would be complicated on this end as well as they are very short-staffed. I also believe that a person canít change jobs until they have been at a job for 6 months without their supervisorís approval.
This email is difficult for me to write for a variety of reasons but it remains true that, ďIím the right person; itís the right job.Ē The question remains as to whether itís the Ďright timeí or not