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    Re: HER FRIENDS ARE GOTH NOT HER

    Posted by Tass on 11/24/2008, 7:51 pm, in reply to "HER FRIENDS ARE GOTH NOT HER"
    87.53.0.6

    Goth is not about being miserable. In the contrary, but there are a lot of misconceptions about the goth subculture, and this is one of them.
    Your stepdaughter's friends, might think they are goths and that to be goth, you have to have a doom and gloom outlook on life, and if so, no doubt it will rub off on her, even if they don't directly tell her, that this is a cool way to be.
    Not liking the other sex is definately not a part of the goth culture, but homosexual or bisexual people, will be fully accepted in the gothculture.
    You stepdaughter's friends might have got this wrong too, thinking that because homosexual people are accepted, it means, that it is cool to be one.
    Without knowing you stepdaughter, im inclined to agree with her mother, it is just a phase.
    She is teenager. You want her to be more happy, so she is doom and gloom. She tell you she doesn't like boys, it might be true, but it is also a good way to upset your stepmother, who cares for you.
    Anyway, if she are more happy without her mopey friends, it might be good for her, if she didn't see them so much.
    The problem is, how do you keep a teenager away from her friends? Not allowing her to see them, is not a good idea in my opinion, since they don't seem to have done anything wrong, and it will probably just make them even more interesting in her eyes.
    Perhaps another camp or a travel, or anything that might get her interest directed towards something more positive?
    Or perhaps show her this site and other good!! goth sites,( sadly, there are a lot of really bad goth sites, but try goth.net) or books about goth, that will show her, that this subculture is not about having a negative outlook on life.
    My best wishes. You are definately not an evil stepmother. I think the best you can do for her, is to keep caring and talking with her.

    Tass

    --Previous Message--
    : My fourteen year old step-daughter asked me
    : does she seem like a person who is always
    : doom and gloom? It totally shocked me
    : because I had told my husband this about her
    : personality word for word numerous of times!
    : She of course was not ever in our home when
    : I told him this. So when she said it was
    : like she had read my mind or heard my words
    : 50 miles away. I honestly answered and told
    : her yes that she is always doom and gloom
    : and that it's not normal for her age. She
    : went on the say that she is not the kind of
    : person who is like "HI how are
    : you!?" all the time,understandable but
    : still not right. I told her the three years
    : I've been knowing her I have seen her happy
    : or friendly whatever it was only twice. She
    : responded oh really? that's not good huh?.
    : She told me she has Gothic Friends and maybe
    : the way they act is rubbing off on her.
    : That just blew me away! She went on the say
    : the she isn't Gothic but her friends are. I
    : told her she needed to separate her self for
    : them. She asked should she stop being
    : friends with them and I told her no still
    : treat them nice and speak but find positive
    : friends to be with. She said the fact that
    : she was going to summer camp and wasn't
    : around them she seemed more happier she
    : said. But that was this past summer school
    : has been in and she is back to her
    : unfriendly introverted self and very
    : anti-social. I told my husband he needs to
    : speak to her mother about it even though I
    : told him that her mother probably would
    : brush it off and say it's just a phase. I
    : was right she told my husband "It's
    : just a phase". My step daughter is
    : very doom and gloom she will suck the life
    : out of a room when she enters. Do they
    : teach or talk about being doom or gloom? She
    : states she doesn't like boys is that part of
    : the Goth? She acts like she hates being
    : around us Love, family and structure what's
    : that about?
    :

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