Posted by Papa Noel on 12/24/2006, 10:50 am

A McCarver Christmas Carol Here's what it's like at McCarver's house on Christmas: As on Thanksgiving, Timmy wakes up with a splitting hangover from boozing it up the night before at the local homo bar. To ease his pain, he drinks a quart of Bulgarian vodka and chases that down with a fifth of cheap gin. He then takes a huge shit and gift wraps it to give to his wife, having once again forgotten to buy a gift for her. Later that day, at their Christmas supper, Tim strips off all his clothes and commences to have sex with the Christmas goose his wife just brought to the table. After satisfying his sick, perverted urges, Tim shoves the entire goose up his ass and runs around the house flapping his arms, crying "Look at me, I'm Father Goose!" He then cleans out his amply supplied liquor cabinet and collapses in a drunken stupor and, with one gigantic fart, blows the Christmas goose out of his ass, through the ceiling and into orbit around the Moon. MERRY CHRISTMAS!