Here's how Tim and his family celebrates New Year's Eve: Beginning early on the morning of December 31, Tim imbibes huge quantities of cheap vodka, even cheaper gin and rotgut whisky. His wife sends him to the local White Castle for 12 dozen gross of belly-bombers which, being the sick degenerate that he is, he shoves up his ass with a plumbers helper. When he gets home, his long-suffering wife asks him where the burgers are and he drops his pants and with a titanic fart blows all the burgers out of his ass and on to the dinner table. The entire McCarver clan then sits down to feast on Tim's turd-burgers and drink gasoline. At midnight Tim lights one of his farts and the resulting conflagration not only destroys the McCarver home but most of the rest of the neighborhood as well! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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