Re: And the Dance goes on...
Posted by Kathy on November 23, 2005, 3:08 pm, in reply to "Re: And the Dance goes on..."
Greetings once again, Michele, up at the wee hours I see!|
I'm glad we are having this conversation. I was aware that I might have been sounding a bit preachy in my last email. I thought I would send it anyway and hoped that it would not offend you as you seem quite an open person and I'm glad that you have responded. I haven't read that book you refer to - sounds like psychology - but from what you said I understand that you are looking for a way to belong from which would flow the ability to be welcoming. Meanwhile all you are getting is doors slammed in your face. Nobody can keep fronting up for that kind of treatment.
I am now beginning to get a better picture of where your frustrations lie. Can you tell me what you are looking for from the church?
Do you want to be going to Mass and feeling welcomed and that you belong there. There are certainly many people in that situation. Or, at this point in your life, do you see yourself participating in the church in some other way, like maybe St Vincent de Paul or a prayer group until you have that sense of belonging restored?
: Kathy, thanks for your reply and further
: Have you ever studied Maslow's Heirarcy of
: Needs? On reading your post I couldn't help
: but think that yes there is some value in
: what you are saying and I did notice the
: missing logic when writing my previous
: question about an institution being
: welcoming! What it seems you have challenged
: me to do, is become one of the welcoming
: people. I will tell you that in previous
: years (when I was a practicising Catholic) I
: have done that and invited a number of
: people who were not pracitising at the time
: to participate it or attend Mass with me and
: encouraged them in practical ways to become
: part of the Catholic community events. A
: gentle conversation and oddly enough when I
: think about it, a couple of times I was
: turned down but mostly by far, it was
: received as a welcome intrusion.
: But as I consider your challenge here today,
: I am aware that I am not a practising
: Catholic, I do not attend Mass, I do not
: "belong" to a Parish and so there
: is that leap in the "heirarcy of
: needs" from a sense of belonging to
: self-actualisation that you are asking me to
: take without having addressed my need to
: feel a sense of belonging.
: And to be frank, if I may, I have been told
: in the harshest of ways that my skills in
: liturgical music are not required. My
: approaches to a couple of local Parishes in
: the last few years to assist in any way
: possible have been met with a "we have
: enough musicians". And so now, instead
: of focusing on music and my ability to
: contribute in a skilled way you are asking
: me to try and change a Church that proves
: time and time again that it is unwilling or
: at least resistant to change, to become a
: welcoming place. Of course, I could always
: go out and bang my head on a brick wall and
: have about the same effect. And yes I am
: aware that those comments sound defeatest
: but I guess I'm putting them there just to
: illustrate that I am not at a place where I
: can be the one who is welcoming! That very
: much goes against the grain for me but I
: need to acknolwedge where I am at this