Posted by Cathy Taggart However, for me the main point is still the relationship between the Church and families more generally. It seems to me obvious that, even though a couple gets married in the Church and has their children baptised, this does not necessarily mean that they will consciously and confidently live their family life as a Christian vocation. In fact, I was in something of this position when my own children were little. My husband and I wanted our children to grow up Catholic, but at that stage I myself didn't feel sure and confident in my own faith, I didn't feel comfortable talking to the children about God or praying with them, and so on. Then, when they were aged 7 and 10, my husband and I decided we really wanted to get more involved in the Church and, although it was a bit scary at first, we did. This leads me to the crucial point. If we had decided not to get more involved, if we had decided the "faith thing" was just too hard and dropped it altogether, would that have mattered to the Church? Or is it a purely private choice? If it matters (as I think it does), then surely it should be a public issue for all of us in the Church. I certainly agree that it is important to DO something if you feel there is a need - in fact, especially with regard to family life, I think "grass roots" action is much better than something imposed from "above" - but believe me, this is easier said than done! I spent almost all of last year trying to set up a playgroup with a faith focus, to support families with children in that vital pre-school age-group. My endeavours sparked a certain amount of interest in our parish, but getting people to actually come along was another matter! After a while I decided to send info. about my playgroup to other parishes that were not too far away - I contacted nine parishes in all, I think. I didn't get even one response. Two months later I again contacted the same parishes, this time in conjunction with National Vocations Awareness Week, but again with no results. Now, perhaps I was doing something wrong, but I couldn't help thinking, is this really a Church which thinks the family is so important as a Christian vocation, as the vehicle for passing on the faith? In fact, we don't seem to have a culture in the Church which encourages us to think that way. So what I am really trying to do is to put this as an item on our Church's public agenda. Thank you for the opportunity to do so in this Forum. --Previous Message--
on July 26, 2006, 4:49 pm, in reply to "That Other Big Church Event..."
Thank you both, Jo and Kevin, for your detailed and sympathetic responses to my "post". You're probably both right in that I rely too much on outside affirmation: I love your way of putting it Kevin: "Life is too precious a gift to allow some-one else...to ruin it for me"!
: That Other Big Church Event….
:
: I always look forward to new articles on
: your website, Kevin, and I was especially
: interested in the one by John McSweeney
: about World Youth Day 2008. This article
: particularly resonated with me because I’ve
: recently been thinking about that other big
: Church event which has just finished – the
: Fifth World Meeting of Families. It was
: meant to show how much the Church values and
: supports marriage and the family, but I
: can’t help wondering what, if anything, it
: has achieved for the average family in the
: pew – let alone for those who are on the
: margins of the Church!
:
: The more I think - and pray - about this
: issue, the more concerned I become that the
: Church is making it harder, not easier, for
: people to come to God and/or live out their
: Christian faith through their family life.
: Of course, this may largely be because of
: the difficulty many modern people have with
: the Church’s teaching around
: marriage/sexuality, but I’m convinced that
: the problem is NOT that this teaching is too
: hard or too idealistic or too out of touch
: with today’s culture. For many of us, the
: problem is simply that we cannot make sense
: of the Church’s stance in terms of our own,
: real-life family experience! And when I
: reflect on my experience in the light of the
: Gospel, the Church’s understanding of
: Christian family life makes even less sense.
: Even when the Church’s teaching seems to
: come directly from Jesus – as in the matter
: of divorce and remarriage – the rigid,
: legalistic form which it takes is about as
: far from the spirit of the Gospels as you
: can get!
:
: In any case, whether or not the Church’s
: teaching is correct, there is definitely
: something else lacking. The theme of the
: recent Meeting of Families was “The
: Transmission of Faith in the Family”, and
: indeed, these days we hear a lot about the
: importance of parents as their children’s
: first faith teachers, and the family as the
: domestic church, etc. Yet in practice,
: Church leaders don’t really seem terribly
: concerned whether or not families are
: effectively fulfilling this role. It just
: doesn’t seem to be a real-life issue on our
: public agenda in the same way as, for
: instance, the question of getting young
: people involved in the Church. And how much
: in the way of resources does the Church put
: into providing formation for parents,
: practical assistance for families as the
: “domestic Church”, etc? Somewhere between
: little and nothing, so far as I can see!
:
: Maybe the recent gathering in Spain was an
: exciting, meaningful experience for those
: who were there, but what really matters to
: families is not the big, showy public events
: but what happens at the other end of the
: spectrum. That is to say, in the seemingly
: mundane and trivial happenings and
: interactions of everyday life. We need a
: theology and spirituality more firmly rooted
: in this experience, as reflected upon in the
: light of the Gospels. And we need a
: recognition that if the Church seriously
: expects so much from the family, it will
: have to put more resources directly into the
: family. The way things are at present, I
: believe both Church and the family are
: losing out.
:
:
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